


Ellipsism

by AngieOnPluto



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies)
Genre: Agenre Character, Aromantic, Bad Puns, Bisexual Character, Boys In Love, Criminal Organizations, Dance in a club, Death, Drama, Eren's an impetuous brat (but somehow smart), Evil Plans, Gay Male Character, Headaches & Migraines, I-don't-even-know-what-my-sexual-orientation-is Character, Idiots in Love, Illegal Activities, Infiltration, Investigations, LGBTQ Character, Lesbian Character, Levi's hot, M/M, Marks, Multi, Or are they really soulmates?, POV Eren Yeager, POV First Person, POV Levi Ackerman, POV Multiple, Sad stuff happening, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Stripping, The Wings Of Freedom, Tragedy, ereri, levi eren, survey corps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23795035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngieOnPluto/pseuds/AngieOnPluto
Summary: Every year, all 12-year-old children are asked to go to the Capitol of Shiganshina District to receive their mark. The one supposed to show them the first sentence they’ll hear from their Soulmates. Their destined better half.Yet somehow a kid left it without being marked.How is that possible? It never happened before. Then, can we truly rely on this thing to tell us with whom we’re supposed to be?What’s sure, is that Eren Jaeger is never going to forget this day.Especially not when you consider where it led him to be today.--“No one really knows what to do. None of us have met their Soulmates here. We don’t know if they’re feeling something special, like a foresight invading the heart, overwhelming them with a feeling never felt before. Or maybe the emotion is so strong that it makes you sick, clouding the mind of all coherent thoughts. Maybe that’s why a simple sentence with a cute statement left Armin in a need of air to form words. Maybe it’s so beyond everything else that it ends up being terrifying. What could I ever know about it?”
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer
Comments: 34
Kudos: 87





	1. Prologue: Where it all begins

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome everyone! This prologue is written in the third person, but the rest of the story will be written in the first one, mostly by Eren’s POV.  
> So, if you’re not a big fan of it, it’s only for one chapter, and I thought that since it took place when Eren was really young and years before the first events occurred, it would stick better.  
> Anyway, as I write those words, we’re still in Quarantine because of the Covid-19.  
> I hope you, and your love ones are safe.  
> Hope you’ll like it, and see you soon on Pluto!

“Stop complaining Eren, we wouldn't be in such a rush if you didn't take so long to wake up.”

As he heard his name, the little boy raised his head, the mind still foggy by the morning air. 

Every 7th grade student of the Maria city was making a fuss all around him, while the sun was peacefully rising in the distance. Lost in the midst of all this noise, Eren found himself even sleepier. 

“Seriously Mikasa, couldn't they have scheduled it in the afternoon? 7am, it's way too soon!” 

While the girl offered to her impatient brother her best sigh, he simply yawned. 

“Start preparing mentally, it's almost our turn.” 

“We wouldn't have been late if Armin didn't need to go to the bathroom at the last minute. It's so like him, stressing for something like this” 

If Eren’s trying to act tough, he’s doing a terrible job at it. But there’s nothing strange or embarrassing about feeling nervous, and especially today. 

Since today is _the day._

The one you can't miss. 

The day, of the _Soulmark Ceremony_. 

Alias, the event described as a promise of a bright and happy future with the person who is destined for you. 

Every year, all 12-year-old children are asked to go to the Capitol of Shiganshina District to receive their _mark_. The event take place in the last week of December, and always the last day for the students from Saint Gurren. The mark normally takes place on the right wrist, but they can also make it appear on the left one if the child is lacking space. Or in another part of the body if the child doesn't have any arm at all. 

The principle is simple. Every person on Earth has what is called a _Soulmate_. And because life is well done, to help us recognize from the outside the human with whom we are supposed to spend the rest of our lives, the first sentence they will say to their other half is inked on their arm. 

And that's not all, the mark appears and disappears constantly, at the rhythms of your lover's heart. 

But, when one of the two lovers lose their life... The mark dyed gray and stop beating. 

Then, no more marks can appear afterwards, and no ink can impregnate the wrist anymore, so tattooing it with any other sort of ink is impossible. 

After all, we can't have two Soulmates in the same life, right? We don't call them that way for no reason. 

“Eren, are you sure you're okay? You look really blade.” 

Mikasa gave him a pat on the back, a slight grin on her face, before returning her gaze to the bathroom door. 

Eren was about to answer her when a little blond head rushed towards them. 

“Sorry for making you wait, guys! There were a lot of people, and-” 

“Don't worry Armin, if Jean dares to say anything to you, I'll make him eat my fist!” 

“I swear to god if you fight with someone today Eren, I will-” 

But he was already gone before she could even make her threat, Eren having never been of the patient type. 

On the contrary, he has always had the bad habit of sticking his nose where he shouldn’t, which brings him multiple problems every day. 

So he began to run, following the signs indicating the "Feather Hall", where the marks come to life. And it was in this huge room a little noisy, that he found his classmates. He was soon joined by Mikasa, the latter having been kind enough to run at the pace of Armin. Even when she’s the most athletic out of the class. Even probably out of the whole school. 

“As usual, the crazy head's late! Are you even aware of the importance of the day, stupid?” 

“Excuse me, but when did I ever ask for your opinion, horsehead? Animals do not speak.” 

“Eren, enough. No fight today. Same goes for you, Jean.” 

Once again, every time Mikasa step up Jean automatically step down. Which is basically every time something happens to Eren. Though, as soon as she turns her back, the two can’t stop biting each other. Honestly, if she wasn’t so overprotective of the impetuous brat, Jean wouldn’t probably try to defy Eren as much as he does. He somehow wants to look good in front of the young girl, and his jealousy turned his friendship with Eren to a sort of unrequited rivalry. Seeing how much they actually look alike, surely they could have been nicest friends to each other if they both were less stubborn to admit it. 

“Please Jean, you said it yourself, the ceremony is far too important to be ruined by your idiocy.” 

“I'm pretty sure that I didn’t use those words” 

If there were one person who somehow managed to deal with Jean on a daily basis, it was Marco. Most people don’t get how a kid as caring and kind as Marco can support someone as loud as Jean. But knowing them you’d see how much they actually help each other by being friends. Marco tries to be the voice of reason, wanting Jean to express his feelings a little bit more, while Jean helps Marco to speak more for himself and to be less scared. They share the kind of bond that can be as healthy as deadly, if not taking with care. 

“Come to think of it, if we already met our, hum, Soulmate... What will be written on our wrists?” asked Christa, probably to help release the tension. This young, blond hair girl, is nicknamed The Angel by most of the kids in their school. She’s short, cute, and always wear the kind of selfless smiles that are either really genuine, either used by psychopath in the making. In her case, she really cares a lot about her friends, and a lot of kids in the class would actually be really happy to be linked with her. Even Eren would agree with that, although she’s not his type. Actually, he probably doesn’t even have a type. 

“Well...” Armin said as he cleared his throat, his eyes glowing with interest “I read on an old article found in my grandpa’s attic that the mark takes effect as soon as its inked. Meaning that whatever was said before doesn’t count, so I guess it will be the first thing they say after the ceremony.” 

Eren started to complain about how their teacher could have explained to them a little bit more thoroughly what was going to happen. Even while being the impactful event that it is, there isn’t much media relating info on the Ceremony nowadays. People used to write about it, but it became something so normal that no one really questions it anymore. It’s like this, and that’s all. Most kids are just being told that this day is one of the most important day they’ll ever live, but no one really tells them what exactly happens. 

“K’, is everyone here now?” Said Mr. Hannes, before making attendance. “Okay kids, the Ceremony'll start any minute now, so pay attention” 

And just like that, an old man took place on the scene, in front of the microphone. 

“Welcome all in the Feather hall!” By his age, and since it’s always the same people that hold the Ceremony, it’s surely not his first time here, yet he looks as excited as all of the other kids in the room. 

Again, Eren can’t help but to feel nervous. Although he wasn’t really interested in love, as he valued his friends and family too much to think about someone else, he was still hoping to get a pretty sentence inked. Like, not something too mean or too long. After all, his father received a monologue that took place on almost the entirety of his forearm. His soulmate must have told it in one go. 

But above all, the fact that the mark was indelible made it even more solemn. And to Eren, the thought of not having the control over something that will stay on him forever, was scary. Exciting, but also really scary. 

All around him, the other kids were also strongly reacting to the few words said by the old man. Like they suddenly realize what was going to happen. While Jean started to sweat more than usual and Armin to wear a face torn between curiosity and fear, Marco and Mikasa were trying to reassure them as best as possible. Christa and Ymir decided to talk out their apprehension instead. 

“Don’t worry Christa, whoever your soulmate is, I’ll always take care of you. And if he doesn’t deserve you, I’ll find a way to make him disappear. Like, definitely.” 

“Um, I’d prefer for you not to kill anyone, if possible” 

“You truly are an angel!” 

Eren refocused his attention on what was in front of him. The old man had apparently finished his speech, which most kids didn’t even listen to, being way too preoccupied with their own thoughts. He began to call out each student’s name in alphabetical order. 

And here we go. 

“Ackerman Mikasa” 

As soon as he heard her name, Jean stammered a few incomprehensible words, while looking a little redder than usual. Of course, Eren didn't miss the opportunity to make fun of his little comrade, which helped lightening the mood. 

Mikasa took place in front of the priest. While there is nothing religious about the act itself, Ceremonies have always been conducted by a priest to honor ancient traditions. Some hundred years ago, it would have been inconceivable not to marry your soulmate, but nowadays it's not so taboo anymore. It's still frowned upon, and an incredible number of people still can't conceive the idea of the Ceremony not being absolutely right, but there’s progress. The man proceeded to recite a few sonnets, before taking Mikasa's right wrist and plunging it into the fountain. This one’s impressive; its water, coming from the top of the room, continuously flows into a basin adorned with marble carvings. 

“I read that the Capitol is apparently built on the ruins of an old temple from which water flowed continuously. The source of the water would still be unknown to this day, but it might be endless since its virtues can still be enjoyed today. It truly is fascinating!” 

Armin continued to tell Eren about the many theories concerning the water, and how no one has managed to dig deep enough to get to its base. The soil would be, at some point, too hard to reach the dike, and its composition apparently remains unknown. Eren wondered how come Armin knows so much about something almost completely unknown for most of them, before remembering that it was Armin he was thinking about. If the boy wanted to know something, he will. Meanwhile, Mikasa ended the rite, reciting the verse _Yuugure No Tori_. 

The noisy hall fell silent in an instant. 

No one dared to speak any more. 

All eyes were focused on the water, now in a scarlet red shade. 

Then it went back to its usual, light blue color, as the old man made his way to the microphone again. 

“The look on your face, I never get tired of it! Okay, Arlet Armin, it’s your turn.” 

While he went up to the priest, Mikasa was coming down to the rest of her friends. 

Jean cleared his throat, before looking at her straight in the eyes. And without breaking eye contact, he said; “Your hair’s really beautiful, Mikasa” 

Eren bursts out laughing, followed close by Ymir. 

“Are you serious? Wait, don't tell me you said that ‘cause you think you're her soulmate and you wanted her mark to be something cool? I knew you were dumb, but not _that_ dumb!” And Ymir added “Oh my god Kirstein, warn us next time” before wiping the nascent tears forming in her eyes. 

“Shut up, all of you! Wait till you see what it says on her-” 

_“_ _Hi, I'm here on behalf of Miss Rico who hurt her ankle_ _.”_

They all looked at Mikasa, confused. 

“That's what it says” said Mikasa, with the same unbreakable face she wears every day. 

Laughter reignited. 

“Next time, horseface!” 

“You're a dead man, Jaeger!” 

“I feel sorry for that Miss Rico...” 

“Awnn my Christa's so nice!” 

And so, in a cheerful atmosphere, the Ceremony went on with the passage of Armin and Marco. Jean called the latter to join them as soon as he had made his mark, but he rushed to the toilet before talking to anyone. 

Ymir actually missed her turn by accompanying Christa to the toilet, even though she kept telling her that she’ll be fine on her own. 

Then came Eren's turn. 

Like all the others, he listened to the sonnets, dipped his hand in the fountain, recited _Yuugure_ _No Tori_ and watched the water change color. 

He closed his eyes. 

Took a deep breath. 

Then got startled at the exclamation of the churchmen. 

“How is that possible...!” 

When Eren looked down to his wrist... 

“Why...” 

“Mr. Pixis, come get a look at this.” 

“Sir... Why isn't there anything written on my arm?!” 

A disturbing quiet settled in the heavy air. But a voice broke it. 

“So you made fun of me, huh? But _you_ , you don’t even have any mark!” 

Everything was fine. 

He was living in a loving family, with a sweet mother, a determined father and a caring foster sister. He may have been a bit of a brawler, but he wasn't a bad kid. 

So what did he do to deserve this? 

Everything was going well at the time. 

Everything was fine... everything was fine... 

But it didn't last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go. If you want to keep track on the advance of the writing, go check my profile; I try to update it as much as I can with what I'm currently writing.  
> Hope you liked it, and see you soon on Pluto !


	2. Phobetor and Mare’s visit

_**Eren** _

That damn dream again. 

I’m having it more and more lately, some days I even get lucky enough to have the full version. The one where I get taken to an office only to become a little laboratory rat. Somehow, out of all the scientists, researchers, religious and high-ranking officials, none of them could find the reason for my lack of a mark. The one where they called my mother to pick me up, but she never did. The one where they tried to contact my father, but he had left the house the morning. The one, where I end my day on the edge of my mom's hospital bed, holding her hand as she gave out her last breath. 

I lost almost everything that day. 

And I would’ve, if Armin’s grandfather didn’t take Mikasa and I with him. 

I sat down on my bed. Recalling what they said to me in that office. I’ll never forget the look on their face. Them, who worshiped their fountain like an all mighty God, were now in front of a kid who, for some reason, wasn’t worthy of its gift. Really, everyone was weirded out, since they were apparently an explication for every case. Like how deaf people or people linked with someone mute also have a mark, it’s just that, theirs are in italic and seemingly is a short transcript of the first thought their Soulmate had towards them. Fuck, they even tried to tattoo me where I should have had a mark to see if it was just somewhat here but not visible. And now I live with a line inked on my right wrist. And it’s not even a straight one. 

Shit. What a nice way of starting the day. 

I hear my alarm clock ringing and I’m reminded that I'm supposed to get up, although if I could I’d go back to sleep and rewrite the night. But work doesn’t wait, especially when you can go to your art college thanks to it. 

So, after I made sure to take my daily pills, I made my way to the kitchen, the eyes and mind still blurred out by the memories. While doing that, I almost bumped into some blond hair running throughout the entirety of our small apartment. Honestly, we wouldn’t really need a bigger one, even if we could afford to rent it. 

“Yo speedy, you mind telling me where do you find that much energy that early?” 

"Last night I was studying for my midterm on offshore oil, and I must have fallen asleep because my alarm clock didn't ring... I'm gonna be late, and I can't find my bus pass!” 

Ah yes, I get it now. The energy given by anxiety. Armin’s full of it. 

“Armin...” I yawned, then check the time. “It's eight o'clock. If I'm not wrong, you don't start until 10:00.” 

“Well, yes, but you never know what can happen. Anyway, you look paler than usual, are you okay? Did you take your pills?” 

I grin. I’m glad he’s still here. “Nightmare, you know. And yes, mom, I did. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” 

Armin offers me one of those comforting smiles he does so well, before resuming his research. 

“You seem to be having a lot of them lately.” 

“What do you mean, I look as handsome as ever!” 

I know Armin’s not dumb enough not to see through my sarcasm, but using it is the only way I know how to avoid the kind of questions you ask a child who's lost both parents. I hate being pitied. I’m glad he gets it, and change the subject. 

"How's school going? How's your paint- There it is!" 

Armin interrupted himself, clutching his bus pass in his arms like he found his Precious. 

"I'm a little bit stuck right now, on the inspirational level.. But I've managed to get a grace period, so that should do it." 

What I’m not saying is that soon I won’t only be missing inspiration, I’ll also be missing time. With my part time job at the Cafe, and my more dangerous one, I don’t really get a lot of free time. Especially when I need to work at night. 

“Mikasa would kill you if she saw how hard you're working.. And me for not stopping you. And probably everyone else involves in the matter. Don't overdo it, Eren." 

After high school, she got a scholarship at a reputable sports college. And although It was great when It was the three of us, I’m glad she finally agreed to live a little bit more for herself. 

Now she’s specialized in Aikido and is currently following a program to teach it to kids. Which shocked both Armin and me, as we never pictured her working with children. But since her sport isn’t practicable in competition, she decided to pass on her knowledge rather than become a champion in another martial art, although she would excel everywhere. That’s how much she likes it. 

“Well, I’m gonna go. Are you going out tonight?” 

Someday I find myself wanting to tell him what I do. That when I come home in the morning, sometimes with bruises, it’s not because I got into a fight at a party. I’d like to tell him that I actually never went to a single party since I’m in college. 

But I can’t put him in the midst of all that. I believe him for keeping it a secret, but I’m afraid it’ll worry him even more than it already does, when he doesn’t know anything. Even worse, he could tell Mikasa and I can’t let that happen. 

“No idea, I’ll let you know. Kick ass on that test!” 

Like this, Armin left the apartment, a restless grin on his face. I’m not too worried about him, since he’s never been less than 1st in his promo. 

I got dressed, ate the bare minimum, put my sweetband on my wrist arm-to make sure my mark’s nicely covered- before leaving as well, towards the Cafe Aslan. 

...

As soon as I set foot in the building, I heard the exasperated voice of our manager, Erd Jinn, spreading through the air. 

"Sasha, for the thousandth time, you have to _sell_ the pastries, not eat them." 

“I’m sho shorry shir” 

I puffed at the sight of Conny, trying to sneak up behind the food hoarder Sasha is to steal her cake. But her 6th sense was underestimated because she turned around faster than her shadow. 

“Oops, busted” he said, raising his hands in the air, caught in the act. 

That's when Conny spotted me at the entrance, and it doesn't take me more than a quick head-up to figure out the task I'd just been given. You wouldn't think so from my build, but I'm actually quite agile. So it was with the utmost discretion, that I managed to extract the girl's meal. 

“Well done Eren! You’re not our ace for nothing!” 

“Get back to work now.” said Erd firmly, before going, somewhere. Honestly, we don’t always know what he’s up to, but we don’t really care to ask. He just, doesn’t really seem to like us, for some reason. Well, for other reasons than Sasha trying to eat the food constantly. Actually, I wonder how come she hasn’t been fired yet. Though I’m glad she hasn’t. Conny, her and I work well as a team. 

“I don't like this new boss very much. I liked the other one better” she said, while trying to get her raspberry tartlet back. 

“Come on Sasha, you're just saying that because he won't let you eat like the old one did. He was a pretty weird guy.” 

Conny and Sasha are pretty funny to watch. Those two have always known each other, and they even went to their Ceremony together. So that’s also together that they learned they were Soulmates. I’m really glad to see that the mark thing at least did one job correctly. Though I’m pretty sure they would’ve dated each other, ultimately. Perhaps it just helped them make the first move? 

“Is it time to eat yet?” 

“Do you realize you're saying my mark at least 20 times a day?” 

“Eh, yours is just you yelling at me! _The Ceremony’s not even done_ _yet!_ , that’s even less cool!” 

“You already look like an old couple, minus the wrinkles. No, wait, you do have some Conny, my bad” 

As a revenge, Conny messed up my hair, before getting closer to my ear so I’ll be the only one to hear when he says; “Meet us at 6:00 p.m. in Magnolia’s alley, at the entrance to the Ehrmich District. Boss's orders.” 

Well, I guess I’ll have to tell my roommate that I won’t get home tonight. 

...

I continued to work in a pleasant environment, before leaving the Cafe around 1pm. If I’m being honest, I actually like that job. Sure, it can be dangerous, and most of the time it is, but that doesn’t scare me. I actually like the feeling of thrill you get when you need to escape from a group of guys after stealing some papers able to dismantle their fishy business. Sometimes, I like to think that what we’re doing brings a little bit of hope into this unfair world. Like that time when we stole the expense records of a group that was involved in child trafficking. I don’t really know how, just with this, they managed to destroy the group without anyone else knowing, but they did. Shadis even thanked us that day. But since infiltration remains a fraud, even if done with good intentions, we are absolutely forbidden to tell anyone about anything we do here. 

An hour later, I was in front of my University’s gates, ready to welcome 3 art classes. 

The first class consists in reproducing as faithfully as possible the object in front of us, using only charcoal. Here we don't have any choice in terms of creativity, it's really just to integrate the necessary basics. Like the lines, the shadows, the perspective.. Then comes the art history lessons. Honestly, it's the subject I like the least. Hearing stories of artists who have already succeeded just makes me want to paint even more. Besides, let's just say I'm not known for staying put. This is all really frustrating. But then comes the reward; painting time! Now I feel right up in my alley. Brush in hand, I’m painting the curves of the model while keeping my very personal style, with its really vibrant colors. I've never been very good at copying. On the contrary, I prefer to look at the model once and only once, before painting from memory. So I’m never absolutely right, but at least I’m having more fun. And I’m never getting scolded for it, so. 

“Jaeger, I know you prefer to paint landscapes rather than models, but your background is a bit too detailed there.” 

I wish we had less portrait work to do in class. What I love, is to take the bus without knowing where it leads, to stop somewhere and paint the first uplifting landscape I find. Or the shadows of passers-by. I don't know why, but I've always been drawn to shadows. They have to be detailed enough to be recognizable, yet very vague. At least that's what I liked to do in high school, when I had time to skip class for it. It's been a long time since I've sat in the middle of nowhere just to paint. 

I kind of miss it. 

At the end of the hour, the teacher gave me another month to complete the assignment and I told her again that _I'll do my best_. 

The subject was as vague as freedom and it really wasn’t ringing any bell personally. 

What could freedom mean to me? 

Well, I won’t have time to think about it tonight, so I may as well work on it later. It’s not like I wasn’t already late anyway. 

...

The city of Sina, where Ehrmich is located, is very different from Maria or even Rose. 

It's the haunt of the rich. I can never seem to feel at ease in the atmosphere of domination that reigns in these neighborhoods. 

It was almost 6:00p.m. when I arrived at the meeting place, where I found Conny and Sasha, in one of the worst alleyways of Ehrmich. That’s not what I had in mind when Connie told me we were meeting here. I mean, sure, those kinds of alleys are almost everywhere, since the Special Brigades needs to decompress after their tough day's work. Yet, I just, can’t help but hate those guys, like a lot of people in Trost and Maria. Why was the most prestigious social class the only one entitled to their own police force? That’s unfair. Trost needs backup a lot more than Sina does. 

I gave them a quick head-up before we all entered the dilapidated building from a corner of the street. We don’t want to keep Mr.Shadis waiting, even though he’s still going to scold us for being _just_ on time. 

It’s not unusual for us to go in dirty places. I never got why we had to remain _that_ secret about doing things that aren’t even _that_ bad, but Shadis always make us come in different places for his little meetings. They never really last long, nor do they take place in such hidden, gloomy places. That’s why this simply doesn’t feel right. 

“By the way Conny, who told you for today? Shadis usually send us the same guy to give his orders, but I didn’t see him at the cafe.” 

What was even odder was Conny’s utmost try of being discreet about it. 

“I found that weird too. Some guy told it to Sasha, like, 10min before you got there.” 

Okay, I’m even more confused now. Why would he suddenly change his informer? Why is he trying to be even more cautious than usual? We never got caught by using our actual methods. 

Inside, several men were posted on both sides of the long corridor. One of them pointed us to a small door, under which a faint beam of light could be seen. 

We didn’t need to wait long for an answer. 

“Come in.” 

Shadis’s voice was cold. Severe. So far, nothing unusual. 

But who I saw when entering the room.. 

That, I surely didn’t see it coming. 

"What the hell are you doing here, Jean?"


	3. In which way is the wind blowing?

_**Eren** _

Great. That’s just great. 

I didn’t talk to the guy in what, 7, 8 years? and I have to fall on him on my super-confidential-kind-of-really-hard-to get-into job? 

Seriously, what were the odds. 

And he’s not even the only one I’m stunned to see here. Ymir was standing there too, leaning her back against the wall, arms folded. She wears no expression when our eyes meet. She’s looking at me without really looking at me. She either doesn’t care to see me here, or she does a good job at hiding it. 

Jean, not that much. 

“Wait, Eren? The hell you’re doing he-” 

“You’re late.” 

If Shadis didn't already look so riled up I would have reminded him that we're right on time, but I have no wish to die. I may be impulsive, but I'm not stupid. I mean, most of the time. 

“You can celebrate your get-together later. We have a job to do.” 

Jean looks as dumbfounded as I do, but I really don’t want to deal with him right now. So, I get my head back into the game. I won't let him screw this up. 

“What kind of job, boss? Considering the number of men in the hallway and the fact that you've hired other hands, today's assignment must be pretty important.” 

Shadis put his elbows on the desk in front of him, intertwining his fingers together to use them as a headrest. His face doesn't budge, yet I feel like I'm being judged. As if he was on the fence about me. But then again, for all I know, he might be considering giving me a raise that he'd look the exact same. 

“Precisely. I want you to pull up all the data from a club owner's laptop.” 

Before he could say anything more, Conny talked. 

“But we've already done it many times before, how's it going to be any different?" 

This time, Shadis smiled. Okay, it looked more like a devilish smirk but let’s just say that he smiled. That kind of aura weirdly reminds me of the kind my dad had when he’d get mad about something. Less threatening, but still. It makes you want to run away. 

“You’re not just going into any club this time. You’re going to the Zackly's.” 

“What? But there’s only old people there! We’ll never get in with our childlike faces!” 

If the air wasn’t so dense, I’d probably tell Conny that his bold head will get him in without any problem, but I just think it. Hard. I think it hard. 

“Except you're not coming in as clients. I would have called in another, more experienced squad if I didn't think this was the best way to go.” 

Our trio was called the _104th squad_ by Shadis and his emissary. Honestly, I don't know if it's because Keith has 104 teams under his command or for some other obscure reasons. I would have asked Shadis, but we are strictly forbidden to raise any questions that have nothing to do with the given missions. 

I throw a look to my two former classmates; they both don’t look surprised. 

“If not as clients... Are we going in as employees?” 

“That's right. You and Kirstein will go in as dancers. Springer as a waiter, and the two girls will provide your backs. They'll take care of your exit if things go wrong, and they'll be in constant contact with me.” 

For the first time since she entered the gloomy room, Sasha exclaimed, as if she had just found the meaning of life. 

“Hold on, isn’t Zackly’s place one of the most prestigious nightclubs in Sina? Isn’t it even exclusively for rich men?” 

“Whaaaaat?” Conny shrewdly exclaimed. 

“So that's why we can't go in... I just thought you were being misogynistic in trying to keep us out.” 

We all looked back at Ymir, and I can't help but feel a gentle smile on my face. She had always been cynical, even as a child. And it pleases me to see that she doesn't seem to have changed that much, at least not in that area. We always got along well, especially when it was to disagree with Jean. 

I wonder how they both got here. 

I had imagined Ymir as giving priority to her own comfort over all kinds of strenuous activities. And trust me, sneaking into a nightclub was quite the strenuous activity. 

“This is your first operation. Do not ruin it.” 

Silence followed this reply and I couldn't help but fill it with the question that has been on my mind since I walked in. 

“So.. why are they here? It has always been the three of us and it always worked.” 

Well, the three of us since last year. I heard from his informer that usually the 104th squad doesn’t stay the same for long. Before, it used to get replaced quite easily, so he told us to be very careful. I guess he likes us. 

“We needed a way in, and Kirstein happens to have good connections.” 

Of course he does. That's all he was good for. Even as a kid, he wouldn't shut it about his wealthiness. 

He put a hand behind his neck, obviously embarrassed. So what, he’s not proud to be from a rich family anymore? I really don’t get this guy. 

“As for Ymir, I needed her computer skills. Any other questions?” 

For the 30min, we all reviewed the plan. 

When to come in. 

Where the computer is. 

How to get out. 

Shadis insisted on the importance of this transaction, much more than usual. Everything was planned down to the last detail, with bewildering precision. 

Looking at Conny and Sasha, I wonder if all of this is really necessary. The truth is, no mission ever ended up according to the plan. We start by following it, but when things get out of hand (and they always do) we end up going into _improvising mode_. Conny thinks it's because of my habit of rushing headlong into things when I believe it's the right thing to do. He also thinks I judge that a little too often. But hey, we've always managed to get away with it, so he can’t really complain. 

“You’ll meet with Zackly tomorrow at 8:00 p.m. He’ll tell you how things work, then you'll do as we discussed. Don’t be late.” 

...

“So Eren, how’s your love life going? Oh, right, you don’t have any mark” 

We barely got out when the horsehead pissed me off. I already regret the few seconds of sympathy I had for him after seeing the look on his face during the meeting. 

You know what? Fuck that guy. 

“So you’re still a dick, huh? How's it pays to be a daddy's boy?” 

I don't know why he's coming after me like this, but if I never let him get away with it as a kid, I’m certainly not starting now. Technically, we're not even _comrades_ yet, so I can allow myself a little misbehavior, can't I? 

“Say that again?” 

Jean grabbed the collar of my sweater, but I shoved his hands away by putting mine in the middle of them, before grabbing his arms and putting him against the wall. It’s not easy though, just by looking at his arms you can see that the dude’s got strength. I have to raise my eyes slightly because of the 5cm gap separating us, which still doesn't prevent me from having the upper hand. Size doesn't really matter in fights. I would have thought I'd grow bigger than him, though. 

“Hey, don't you think it looks like a fight between a German shepherd and a big Malinois?” 

“What do you mean, Sasha?” 

“Well, they're both very similar Shepherds who could do a very good teamwork if they didn't fight so much. The German Shepherd is known to be really stubborn while the Malinois is more assertive and alert.” 

“Whoa, you don’t even know how much you’re right, girl. Those two have always been like this.” 

I vaguely hear the others talking behind me but I don't pay attention to it. I've been wanting to explain myself to Jean and the band for a long time. Part of my anger probably comes from missing the time when we were all in elementary school. 

From missing them. 

“You heard me, horseface. Don't feel like you're growing wings because for the first time in your life you're doing something. You're just as cowardly as ever.” 

I feel Sasha and Conny's hands on my arms as they pull us apart, and I'm not fighting them off. My gaze remains fixed on Jean though, so I’m not letting him run away again. 

“You’re calling ME the coward? am I the one who took off without telling anyone? The others were worried, you jerk. But all you think about is yourself.” 

Hearing his words, I broke free from the grip of my two friends to move towards Jean. I finally notice Ymir, who was also holding him back. She meets my gaze but doesn't hold it for very long. Hold on, don‘t tell me she thinks he's right? Jean may be a jerk, but at least he always had the merit of being an honest one. Which doesn't mean he's right, but...Is that really what he thinks? 

“Oh, really? Last time I checked, you didn't really do anything to help me after that stupid Ceremony. I still remember how you laughed at me after it.” 

It was only when I felt my fingernails digging into the palm of my hand that I realized I had closed my fists. That's also when I received like a light hammer blow to the skull. I feel it reasoning through my head and instinctively I release the tension in my fists. Fucking chronic migraine. Of course, it always picks the worst time to show up. Luckily Jean didn't notice, too busy looking at his feet with a guilty look on his face. Wait, a guilty look? 

“Listen, we were just a bunch of kids and maybe some wanted to help you but were afraid to do it, or maybe-” 

“I was just a kid, too. I'd just lost my parents and found out I had no Soulmate. When I came back to school with Mikasa and Armin to get my things and talk to the principal.. I went to see you. You didn't even look me in the eye. You were all there, laughing and talking, sitting on the bench where we had tagged our names earlier in the year. Like nothing happened.” 

It feels good to spill it out, but the pain in my head doesn’t really allow me to feel any relief. 

“Don’t think it was easy back there either. It was a mess. Cause, you see, I share my mark with Marco.” 

I almost forget my headache for a moment. Good thing I’m not having a terrible one, it’s painful enough to be really annoying, but not enough that I can’t hide it. Still, did I hear it right? Or is my brain acting up? 

“Wait a minute, your Soulmate is Marco?!” 

“I told you it was a mess. Though others got luckier..”’ 

At these words Jean turned his eyes to Ymir and we all followed him. She put a hand on the back of her neck, looking everywhere but at us. 

“Yeah, uh, I've been dating Krista since the Ceremony.. She’s my Soulmate.” 

Weirdly, I’m not that surprised about it. It was obvious how much they cared for each other. 

“Honestly, I couldn't believe it when it happened. I mean, I already knew I liked her, but I always thought she was too good for me. I still do.” 

Sasha asked Ymir if she could show her a picture of them together, and it didn’t take much more for Ymir to go full lovey-dovey mode. Once she started talking about Krista, the tension in the air was being replaced by a much friendlier atmosphere. 

To ease my migraine, which fortunately became even less painful after we stopped making so much noise, I took advantage of the fact that no one was looking at me to put pressure on my eardrums. If I could, I’d just take an anti-inflammatory every time it strikes me, but that's really not advisable in the case of a chronic migraine. So all I have to do is not forgetting to take my daily treatment. Which is something almost impossible to do when your roommate is Armin. 

“Guys, maybe we should all exchanged numbers, you know, just in case?” Conny suggested, and we all agreed. 

While the others returned to their Krista-centered discussions, I went to talk to Jean. 

“Soo, Marco. Do you like him?” 

“I don’t really know. I mean, I didn’t even think I could be gay. Or bi. Either way, things have changed between us since the Ceremony.” 

Seeing that side of him makes me want to forget everything to just give him some love advices. But it’s too soon, and I’m still mad. Somehow, I know that one day I’ll end up forgiving him. That we’ll go back to friendly hate each other. 

“So you did were meant to be with someone of the band, just not Mikasa!” I said wearing a teasing smile. At least I hope it looks like a teasing smile. I don’t feel my headache that much, but I know it’s just a matter of minutes before it comes back. 

“Shut the fuck up” replied Jean, with an obvious teasing smile, before returning to a slightly more serious expression. 

"I think he loves me, and I don't want to hurt him, but... I've always seen him as my best friend. Besides, who's to say this mark thing isn’t complete bullshit? Cases of people living happily with someone other than their Soulmates are becoming less and less uncommon..." 

"Woah, for once you're not talking shit, Jean" I paused. "Of course, we have no way of knowing whether this stuff is bullshit or not. I guess I got lucky I can't be influenced by it!" 

I’m still trying to look at this with a more optimistic look. Though it’s not always so easy. 

When I turned my head around, I found Conny telling Ymir how he'd always known that Sasha was the one. 

“Still, we can't take away from it that sometimes it does things right.” I can feel some jealousy growing up on me but try to shake it away. “They’ve found each other well.” 

We know that there’s no guarantee as to the reliability of the results. What about aromantic people, who just can’t fall in love? They still had a mark. Or what about those who weren’t happy in their relationship, though they were living it with their destined Soulmate? 

But still.. I still somehow believe in it. 

Maybe the marks aren’t here to compel people to date one another. Maybe they were just helping those who already liked each other to realize how they feel. Maybe they were just helping the shyest to venture into the minefield of relationships. Maybe there is a reason for my lack of a mark. 

And maybe all I need is time to understand what it is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Jean's comeback! And we have a little bit more info about some Soulmates couple, what do you think about it?  
> Hope you liked it, and see you soon on Pluto!


	4. Springer will spill spring water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with that chapter name at like, 4am or so. I know it probably don’t make any sense for you (and it won’t even once you’re done with the chap) but it’ll make sense with chap 5!  
> Hope you'll enjoy it!

_**Eren** _

Those headaches will be the end of me. Thank goodness I got home before they became too much to handle. 

After our little discussion post-meeting we all went our separate ways. Turns out that Ymir’s in a law school not so far from mine. She’s living with Krista, who obviously studies political science. It really suits her. 

Jean said he was in business school because it opens a lot of doors, and especially those that offer good pay. Again, not really surprising. 

When I told him I was studying art though, the bastard laughed at me. Of course he doesn’t get it, he’s only looking for a job able to pay his rent. I know that you need to be able to earn enough money to support yourself, but I hate the thought of having to trade my passion and dreams for it. What's the point of living if you’re not having fun? 

I’ll find a way to do both. If I can't live off my paintings, then I'll find something else I’ll like doing. But I won't ever give up, that's for sure. 

I can hear Armin slowly sneaking into my dark room, although he does his best not to make any noise. He knows that when I’m in those states, I really can’t stand it. 

He put a cold compress on my forehead and I utter a _“thanks”_ no higher than a whisper. 

Chronic migraines come in waves. Sometimes they knock me down and I can't move from my bed at all, other times I can manage to do things as long as there’s not too many noises or lights around me. Or smells. Strong smells are unexpectedly deadly. 

I hate when I’m like this. I usually like to fall asleep while listening to music, but right now I need to rest in silence, while there's paradoxically a party going on in my brain. And I’m not even invited. 

I lost track of time, yet eventually fell asleep. When I woke up, I was pleasantly surprised to have no nightmare reminiscences. I take my phone to check the time and see that it's 2pm. Good thing I don't have classes on Fridays. My pillbox in hand, I walked to the kitchen to find a post-it on the countertop. A simple; “Hope you feel better. There’s some of your fav chocolate ice-cream in the freezer. Call me if you need any help!” 

Seriously, we still don't know who his Soulmate is, but they’re one lucky fella. I don’t really know why, but chocolate and ice-cream always helped soothing my mind, so when it’s the two of them united? Oh gosh. 

I take some of it while trying to focus on a history thesis but can’t manage to. So I just let time pass, my pain fading as I rest on the couch. I open YouTube to watch some dance videos before it’s finally time to go. I’ll need the tutorial. 

...

“Okay guys, are your earpieces working?” 

It's 7:55pm and we’re in our squad's car, parked next to the club. While we’re going through the plan one more time -not like it’s a complicated one, but still- I chuckle at the thought of Ymir doing something as illegal as stealing data when she’s a law student. 

“We’ll be in constant touch, so don’t worry, we got you covered! I’m also link to Mr.Shadis here, you won’t be able to hear him but I’ll pass on to you what he says. Conny hun, your earpiece is still visible.” 

We were laughing at the sudden blush on Conny’s face, when Jean spoke for the first time since we entered the car. 

“I still can’t believe Conny’s gonna walk around there with a syringe that looks like a pen. What if he misses his shot?” 

“He won’t. That’s not our first time doing it, you know. Virgin.” 

Okay, that one last bit may have been too much. And though it’s not even an insult, it still managed to upset Jean enough to get Ymir to yell at us. Conny, Jean and I therefore got out of the car, now heading towards the club entrance. 

And- oh god it’s huge. 

The first thing that hits you when you walk in is the stage. It dominates the back of the room, with its red curtains and spotlights. If I was still under those stupid headaches, I'd really hate being here. I mean, it's not like I'm really happy about having to dance for old guys either, but at least I probably won’t end up collapsing on the front row. 

The second thing I notice is the aquarium, right by the entrance. That one's huge too, there are even steps next to it so you can touch the water. I don't really see why you’d want to do that, but you can if you want to. 

“I believe you are Mr. Kirstein, Mr. Jaeger and Mr. Springer?” 

We all nod to the old man walking towards us, his tired-eyes checking us out through his round glasses. 

He requests that we follow him to his office and that's what we do. His assigned security guard was posted outside the door, and the first thought that comes to my mind is that the man is tall. It's a good thing Conny knows how to jump high. 

Once in, the man opened a cupboard full of different kind of suits in different sizes. Shadis told us that Zackly likes to change his dancers regularly so that his clients don't get bored, and that when he doesn’t, it’s only to keep the best of the best. No wonder we were able to get hired so easily. As for Conny, a spot apparently opened up recently, so I guess we got lucky. After giving us a good look, he handed Jean and I two suits of dancers, before giving a waiter one to Conny. He showed us the way to the locker room, its door taking place near the scene and next to the fish tank. 

After a couple of minutes, we were all dressed up, in some pretty classic fancy pants. Considering we gave them our size beforehand, they’re rather well cut, though Conny's one is a little loose fitting. Zackly inspects us, seemingly happy with what he sees, before giving us the pass order. 

“Mr.Kirstein will go after two of our regulars, and Mr.Jaeger will take place after him.” 

I catch Jean looking at me with a satisfied smile painted on his face. Dude's probably proud to go before me, as if Zackly wasn't saving the best for last. I know that they’ll be dancers after us, but still. Right now, I feel like a Pokemon trainer going up against his rival. And there’s no way my Charmander’s loosing. 

Zackley went back in his office after showing us the way around. Conny’s getting ready with the other waiters, while Jean and I walk over to a table where the other dancers had joined each other. Probably when Zackly was explaining us how the club works. 

They’re all young men. 

“So you’re the new recruits, huh? Ohh this one’s got pretty eyes! Mr. Zackly must like you.” 

“How come you decided to work here? You’re in a need of money or something?” 

“Ulklin can help ya with it if that’s the case!” 

We hadn't even gotten close to the table when they started talking to us. Seeing how well they seem to get along, I wonder if Zackly really changes his dancers frequently. There’s no awkwardness between any of them. They somehow remind me of my old group of friends. 

Jean blushed so badly when a dancer took his hand that if _this_ isn’t proof of his attraction to men, I don't know what will be. 

“Hey green eyes, what’s your name?” 

“Hi, I’m Eren Jaeger.” 

“Nice to meet you, Eren. I’m Floch. Could you give me your right hand?” 

I do as he says, looking a little confused, before I can see him pull out a white tape. 

“It's tradition here. We hide our marks when we dance, behind—oh, but you're already wearing a sweatband. You really don't want people to see your mark, huh? Why, is it embarrassing? Full of insults? Is it-” 

“Floch, leave the poor kid alone,” said another dancer, before throwing a roll of tape at me. 

“You can put it on yourself, we won't look. Don't worry, here we don't interfere in things that do not concern us." he said, giving Floch an accusing look. 

It almost makes me sad to see them trying to integrate us so badly, knowing that we're here to steal their data. And that we’ll leave as quickly as we came. Shadis hasn't told us what secret is lurking behind the Zackly’s, but it must be a pretty serious one given his reaction. I try to keep that in mind as I turn around to apply the tape around my wrist. Though it’s really hard to imagine any of those guys doing the kind of things we’ve been fighting before. Whatever’s happening here, I’m pretty sure they’re not aware of it. At least I hope so. 

“Hey, Floch? How long have you all been working here?” 

I know I shouldn't get involved in their personal life, I know I shouldn't get so concerned in a one-night stand, but I can't help myself from wanting to know more. I'm really not getting the same feeling here that I got in other pubs for other missions. 

“Um, Phil and I have been here the longest, almost two years.” 

I look at Phil, the man who threw the strips at me before, as he makes a huge eye-roll, as if two years was already too much. The boys laughing around him seem used to his mood, which makes his face immediately look softer. You know, it's like how your surroundings, sometimes, sort of show who you are deep down. Meaning that I'm sure he's a good guy when you take the time to know him. If we were to meet in other conditions, I could even admit that he’s my type. Or maybe it’s just because of his black hair. I don’t know what it is with me and black hair, but that shit’s dangerous. 

“After that, it varies. Ulklin has been here for six months. Arthur's the newest, after you two that is, and he's a week old.” 

Yet he blends in perfectly. 

I put my sweatband in my pocket—which is probably not a good idea, as I would lose the jacket while dancing—but don't really worry about it. I might not even have to dance if Jean does his job correctly. Yeah, we can forget about that. 

“You guys are ready? We’re opening.” 

I took a look at Conny, and he nods his head. I hear Ymir through the earpieces telling us that they’re ready as well. 

All that's left now is dance. 

...

I would have pictured the club a little more crowded. When you think about it though, since its clientele is quite specific—rich, rather old men, attracted to men enough to want to see them dance half-naked—it's understandable. 

Phil went first on stage. And I’d have to admit, his dance was really passionate. I don’t know what motivates him to be here, especially when It’s to perform in front of such a public, but if he dislikes it, he's doing an incredible job at hiding it. I’m curious about his motivation now. I’ll ask him, once this is all over and done with. 

He ended up in his underpants alone, but Zackly told us that we don’t necessarily have to. I seriously think it’s just because he doesn’t want his club to get a “stripper” reputation, but what do I know. He's strangely rather lax as a boss, Jean and I's demos only showed a piece of our torso, yet it was enough for him. That one bit probably had something to do with Jean’s “connections” though. Still, I wonder how he always finds new people to employ. Young dancer boys ready to strip in front of older men don't run the streets. But then again, what do I know. 

Floch went after him. If Phil’s dance was more in a low, angry tone, Floch’s one is definitely more joyful. You can feel his good energy from behind the curtains. There’s overall a much more cheerful atmosphere during his show. It's obvious why these two are regulars. 

When he finished, bare chest, Jean turned to me with a sort of rivalry look. Oh boy, I know where this is going. 

“You can go back in the car, Eren. I’ll make the big man come out of his closet.” 

“Do you really think that Zackly _is_ the one who needs to get out of the closet?” 

He whispered a lil _fuck you_ before going on stage. 

“Soo, what did you think of my show?” 

“You were really good, Floch. I feel sad for Jean that has to go after you.” 

We positioned ourselves so I can keep an eye on both the scene and Zackly’s office. I hear multiple people whistling, probably excited about the arrival of a new dancer. They're gonna be disappointed. 

“Is it his first time? He looks a little.. Out of place?” 

Hell yeah he looks out of place. It’s pretty funny to watch, actually. 

“Oh no, he’s just.. A little nervous” 

It’s not like he’s doing it badly, he just, looks a little lost. But looking at the first row, they don’t seem much bothered by it. In fact, I can even see some that are probably really into it. But seeing as we’re already halfway through his song and Zacky didn’t come out yet, I’m guessing that it’s not his thing. 

“Hey, um, do you know how often Zackly comes out to watch the dances?” 

“How do you know that?” 

I chuckle it off, saying that I have my sources, and thankfully he doesn't question it much more. 

“Well, not a lot. He only comes out when Gerald believes he’d like it. He’s the tall one there, you see? Phil made him come out though! I guess he likes slower moves.” 

I followed Floch’s finger to look at a middle-aged security guard with short, blond hair kept straight. from the puckered face he's wearing, I don't think he really believes in Jean's performance. 

Shit, what if I can't convince him either? 

Especially since I choose a song that's, let's say, a little provocative and controversial. 

The song ends, and Jean’s bare chest is showing as he makes his way towards me. 

We don’t say anything, but I understand what he thinks when our eyes meet. 

I really can’t mess this up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a whooole lotta foreshadowing going on here, and even one of Levi and Eren’s future relationship (coming really soon, I swear!) did you spot it? Oh, there’s also a fun reference hidden for those who knows the manga well ;)  
> Don’t forget that you can check my profile to know how the writing’s advancing! I added the overall number of words as well.  
> Stay tuned for chapter 5, it’s going to be a blast. Literally ;)  
> See you soon on Pluto!


	5. Kill(ing) Our Way To Heaven

**_Eren_ **

I’m on stage, waiting for my song to start. I know how I should play it to attract Zackly, I just need to find the guts to. 

_The dust and dirt_

And here we go. 

I start by thinking about my moves, about what I saw in those videos sooner in the day. About how I should move my hips, and how to lock my eyes on the audience not to lose them. 

_Blind us slowly_

But I quickly forget everything. I try to feel the notes instead. I close my eyes to feel them better, like when I’m entering the zone while painting. This moment when nothing else in the world matter more than me and the colors on my canvas. 

_But give a hint of a view to make it feel alright_

I suddenly remember what Floch told me when he saw me for the first time. 

My eyes. I need to use them at my advantage. 

_And though it hurts_

I opened them again, only to fall directly on a pair of eyes almost hidden by some strands of hair. I need one of the spotlights walking over the audience to pass over him, to notice that his hair is a deep raven black. That's it. I’m screwed. 

_We keep on climbing_

I suddenly feel the urge to paint, like I haven’t in a long time. I could picture how the inconsistent shreds of lights show his glowing eyes through the dark. How his black hair works as a curtain to hide them by times, as if they were too precious to be shown to just anyone. How no matter the number of tables, I feel only looked at by him right now. 

_Cause_ _our addictions take us from inside_

His head’s resting on his right hand, as if he doesn’t really want to be here. Though when our eyes meet, I smile at him, while lifting my head slowly. I can see him removing his hand from his head. Ah, interesting. 

_We would say anything just to hear what we want_   
_Right or wrong_

I fall back into the music, to immerge myself in its lyrics. It reminds me how much I’d like to hear the first sentence my Soulmate would say to me. But I know that even if I do have one, even if they still were to say it, I probably won’t even be able to know that they did. And that sucks. 

_We would sell anything just to buy who we're not_   
_Any cost_

I let my eyes fall on that man again. I don’t know why, but I keep getting drawn to him. Maybe it’s because of my love for painting shadows, and with the lack of clarity he almost feels like one. Maybe it’s because of those damn black hair, that I’d really like to take a closer look at. 

And if Ymir’s voice didn’t stop me from my trance, I’d probably still be looking into his eyes, trying to get what he sees in mine. 

“Eren, it’s working, Conny just told us that Zackly had left his office” 

I try not to grin, but can’t help it. I did it. Damn right I did. 

As I see Zackly’s approaching, I slowly let my shirt fall, revealing my tan complexion in the eyes of whoever would like to see it. I don’t slow down, especially not now when I can’t let anyone look at what’s happening not so far from them. I’ll make sure to keep them busy here. 

“Conny has spilled the drinks on the security guard, It’s only a matter of minutes now.” 

Good, because I’m almost halfway through the song, which leaves him roughly 2minutes to follow the guard into the office, put him to sleep with the syringe and without making any noises, take the data available with the USB hack that Shadis gave us, and get the hell out of here. 

It’s okay, we can do it. 

_We search alone_   
_For golden crowns_

I take off my shoes, before doing a cartwheel. I’m glad I had to dance for other jobs like this before, and I'm even almost beginning to enjoy dancing. Well, I'd probably enjoy it a lot more if I didn't feel so, I don't know... Threatened? Right now? The more it goes on, the more I’m starting to feel uneasy. It’s like some pair of eyes were suddenly monitoring me from afar. It's probably just the heat and tension of the situation that makes me feel that way though, especially now that Conny's entered the office. 

Which doesn’t mean I’m not having fun. I surprisingly actually do, even if I wish it would be in another setting. Some guys in the front row are looking at me like I was a rib steak in the middle of the apocalypse, and that actually sends shivers through my body. 

I don’t mind _all_ those pair of eyes, though. This guy in the back? He’s another story. Too bad I started reading it here. 

“Conny knocked him out, he’s extracting the data right now” 

I look back at the table where the intriguing man was seated before, but he’s not there anymore. Nor the other man that was with him. Did I bore him? Didn’t he like it? 

“Okay we got everything. We just sent them to Shadis now, you need to go qui-” 

I can’t hear the end of her sentence. Actually, I can’t hear anything anymore. An explosion just struck the bar, and as I try to get my eyes to see something, I feel another blast coming from the office. 

I don’t know how long it has been between the two of them, as I only got back to my senses when I remember where Conny should be. 

Shit, Conny. 

I was running towards what's left of the office when I fell on Phil. 

He was on the floor, a pool of blood leaving his head. I got down on my knees to check his pulse, as they always do in movies, though I know he’s dead. No one can survive losing that much blood from the head. 

I’m taken aback to the day I saw my mother leaving this world, but this is very different. There’s no peace. No gentle touch. I don’t even have time to pull him to somewhere nicer, far from the screams and the runnings. Because I have to go too. 

“Eren? Follow me, there’s a back door near the locker room!” 

“Floch, Phil is-” 

“I know!” 

I follow him through the people running, to stop when I see Jean being handcuffed by some guy. What the hell is happening? 

“JEAN!” 

“Eren we need to g-” 

Floch couldn’t finish his sentence, as he had been kicked in the stomach. 

“Yo, squad 104th. We're thanking you for your service, but now's time to retire.” 

I don’t have time to think, don’t have the time to check on Floch, don’t have the time to run towards Jean, don’t have the time to find Conny. 

Sasha. Ymir. They must still be here! 

“Ymir, Sasha, you hear me?!” 

“You talking to your comrades huh? Well, that’s no use, we already took care of'em.” 

I don’t get it. I don’t get how everything went down so fast. I’m being dragged to the top of the aquarium, and even if I’m fighting with all I have, my head’s still being put in the water. His grip on my neck is strong, and I slowly begin to lose consciousness. I feel every fiber of my body giving up the fight, and I myself start to lose my willpower. 

I wonder if it’s because I died before I could meet my Soulmate that I have no mark. 

I guess I’ll never know, now. 

**_Levi, about 1h ago_ **

I really fucking hate that job. 

Not only did we need to come in a shitty club, it had to be a shitty club on the verge of becoming some shitty ashes. Seriously. 

“Are you perhaps not having fun, Levi?” 

I don't need to turn my head around to feel Erwin’s mocking face. I’m in for one tiresome night, that’s for sure. 

“Why did you come? You could have easily commanded the operation from afar just like you usually do.” 

“I can't afford to send you on a mission this risky without taking risks myself. Besides, I'd have missed seeing Squad Captain Levi Ackerman in a rich old man's pub.” 

I'm re-focusing my attention on what's going on in front of me to see another kid going on stage. This one looks a lot more nervous. Really out of place. 

“He's one of them, Jean Kirstein. We need to keep an eye on him.” 

“I thought there were only three? This one wasn’t planned.” 

“Petra just sent me two new profiles. He's one of them.” 

No wonder he looks like he's shitting himself. He's part of the suicide squad. He must be pretty desperate to accept a job where you have 50% chances of dying. Either it pays really well, either there’s something else he needs from it. Or something else is missing that we don’t know yet.

“Oluo, do you still have a visual on Springer?” 

“Yes, Captain Levi, he stopped to watch the dancer.” 

All that's left to do now is dying of boredom while waiting for Mike to give us the signal. If only the dances were even _remotely_ interesting. 

“We could stop all this if we warned Zackly and got everyone out. There's gonna be unnecessary deaths happening here.” 

“You know very well that's what I'd like to do, but if we want to catch them, we have to wait for the men to attack first. And we need to interrogate the young ones.” 

Especially that kid in front of us. I'd have no trouble getting him to talk. 

His song ends and someone else takes his place. 

“Gunther, keep an eye on Kirstein. He’s the one who just finished dancing.” 

“Copy that.” 

_The dust and dirt_

Wait, I know that song. Everything that came before were just hits where it's pretty easy to dance to, but this choice is interesting. _Kill Our Way_ _To_ _Heaven_ , huh? That's bold. 

But what strikes me right now isn't the music, it's the dancer. More precisely his eyes. They're such a powerful green that even from where I am, I can see them shine. 

_Blind us slowly_

They remind me so much of Isabelle’s that it’s painful to watch. Yet, somehow, I can’t find the will to look away. 

_But give a hint of a view to make it feel alright_

He closed his eyes so I take the time to look at the rest. His brown hair is a mess, but strangely enough, he wears it well. 

_And though it hurts.._

..When his eyes meet mine, I see him staring at me for a while. As if he could see me in this darkness. 

_We keep on climbing_

His hips are moving according to the notes of the music and I almost forget the dirty place I'm in. 

_Cause our addictions take us from inside_

That’s when he did it. He raised his head a little, showing his jawline and neck even more, while smiling at me. The brat’s definitely daring. 

“He’s Eren Jaeger. One of the three working at the Cafe.” 

Just like this, I’m taken back to where I am. Of course he’s one of them. Does he know who I am? Is that why he smiled at me? Is he provoking me? 

Because I swear if that’s what he’s doing, he’ll regret it. 

_We would sell anything just to buy who we're not_   
_Any cost_

“Oluo here, Zackly left his office.” 

“Copy that. Mike, any news?” 

“No captain, their car is still parked near the entrance.” 

I look at the scene again. How can he dance with such a grin on his face, knowing that there’s a chance he’ll die today? Knowing how many other people will probably die today? 

How can he look so excited, almost even happy to be here? 

“Oluo here, Springer just spilled some drinks on Zackly’s security guard. He’s.. Following him into the office.” 

“Alright, follow them as well. Don’t lose their sight at any cost.” 

“Copy that.” 

_We search alone_   
_For golden crowns_

And now he’s doing a god damn cartwheel. 

“Oi, shitty eyebrows, you’re sure he’s one of them? Kid doesn’t look like he’s about to blow off a fucking club.” 

“Well, it is a possibility that they don’t know anything. But he is involved, that’s for sure.” 

“Oluo here, Springer took down the guard. He’s moving towards the computer. Do I stop him?” 

So that’s what they wanted. Stealing Zackly’s data for whatever reasons, before blowing off the whole place. What a plan. 

“Yes. Don’t make any noise, though. He’s probably linked to his little comrades through earbuds.” 

“Copy that.” 

“Mike here, a car just stopped near the entrance, five men out, two heading towards the target car, the other three towards the entrance.” 

With an affirming eye-contact, Erwin and I get up from the table to move forward the entrance ready to greet these assholes. I’m not letting them carry out their plans. 

“All right, Erd, you go with Mike to pick up Braus. Oluo you take Springer, Ghunter take Kirstein. Levi and I will handle the men coming before we ca-” 

A blast struck us, filling the air with its heat, one that could have easily hurt my hearing if I wasn't so used to it. It's not my first blast, and unfortunately, it's not going to be my last one either. My first reflex is to look at the bar, from where it came from. I can already see blood puddles on the floor and I don't like it. Fuck, they set up their shit before we got here, didn't they? And they just brought in guys to finish the job, not to actually set up the bombs. We got played. 

Erwin checks with the team to see if everyone is okay and they all answer positively. Mike and Erd picked up Sasha, along with another young girl who was with her. Probably the second profile Petra sent in. 

My second reflex is to look at the stage, but the young dancer—or should I say, Jaeger—is no longer there. I was about to go looking for him when I felt another explosion, this time coming from Zackly's office. 

“Oluo, you there?” 

“Yes, sir, I was able to retrieve Springer, but he had already sent the data to his comrade.” 

“Go to Erd and Mike and take cover. Erwin and I will catch up to you.” 

Two are out. We don’t know if there’s any other blast planned. We need to find Jaeger before he can get away with it, along with the three other men left. 

Two, actually. Erwin just neutralized one of them, while another tried to sneak up behind me subtly enough so I can't spot him. Well, he was wrong. He shows me his knife, but even with a gun, he’d still be no match to me. I hit a specific spot on his jugular and the man collapses to the ground. 

The difference in level between the teams sent to make sure the job was done and the real commandos is quite significant. Those look like children. That said, they're also using real children in their 104th squad. 

“I’ll tie him up. Go find Jaeger.” 

I’m searching for those green eyes around me, but can’t find him. I even look behind some fallen beams and table, scanning the corpses, yet still no sign of the boy. 

That is, before I looked up to the only place not yet touched by the blast. 

The aquarium. 

The last one of the five guys was standing there, strangling the young boy with all his will. I see the brat’s arms falling alongside his body as I run towards them. It doesn’t take me long to get rid of the last fucker, before I dive into the aquarium to pull out his messy hair. 

I definitely hate this job. 

I put two of my fingers on the side of his neck, without finding any pulse. Shit. 

A part of me needs to get him back alive, so we can question him and all that. Maybe even torture him if necessary. The other part somehow wants to see those green eyes once more, that I had lost a while ago thinking I’ll never see such a bright color again. 

That’s the latter part who made me whisper; 

“Don’t you dare die on me, brat.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you remember when I said that chap 5 was a literal blast? You must hate me now, but did I lie? DID I LIE THOUGH?   
> The song used here is Kill Our Way To Heaven by Michl, and I thought that the lyrics somehow worked really well with the whole Soulmate thing. Besides, the song is all about homosexual relationships (watch the music video, it's beautiful), which also works here. Hope you liked it ! Special thanks to Caela-chan; Angelfromthesky1 and Hippopi for their nice comments. Let's all see each other soon on Pluto! (That catchphrase is kinda dumb but I weirdly like it lmao.)


	6. The Titan's Pamphlet

_**Eren** _

I woke up, after leaving a living nightmare. Technically, I remember spilling out water and breathing again after my trip into the fish tank, but I didn’t stay conscious long enough to call it a true wake up call. 

Though I’m definitely having one right now. 

The first thing I feel is a weight trapping my wrists. And as I'm trying to figure out what's going on, all I can do is bury myself under my own thoughts. 

Did we get attacked by Zackly's men? No, that doesn't make any sense. Why would Zackly destroy his own club? 

Then who the hell could it be? And the guy who tried to drown me, from what he said he obviously knows us. Is he some sort of undercover spy who infiltrated Shadis's ranks? What did he want from us? 

And finally, what the hell am I doing here? On that sort of operating table in that over-lit room. I'm in a hospital gown, which makes sense given the state I must have left my clothes in. Well, for the clothes that were still on me at the end of the show, that is. Which is not a lot, actually. 

The leather chair next to my face shows that someone must have been watching me very closely, and the ton of medical equipment surrounding the whole room doesn't do much to reassure me. I feel like I’m in some kind of mad scientist's lab rather than in a hospital ward. Seriously, where the hell am I? And is everyone else okay? I did see Jean getting handcuffed and taken away by who knows who. Better hoped by the same guys who tied me up in here. I don't want to have yet another group as enemies. At the very least, if he got caught by some cops, I’m sure he'll find a way to get away with it. Dude’s got money and family fame, he’d be fine. 

But what about Ymir and Sasha? I lost contact with them after the first explosion. And I don't even want to think about what happened to Conny... He was literally in Zackly's office when everything started. He better has gotten out of there alive, or I won't ever be able to forgive him. Or myself. 

“Well well well, look who’s up! You feeling better, sleeping beauty?” 

Wait, what? 

“Where are you?” 

Shit. I had a second to choose between _where are we_ and _who are you_ but my brain couldn’t even do his damn job without messing up, and I ended up asking both questions at the same time. 

That’s it. I’m so done. 

“Oh no, you're not okay at all! Look, Eren, how many fingers do I have?” 

It’s never a good thing when your kidnapper knows your name. Yet weirdly, I don’t really feel threatened by her. Or is she a he? I don’t even know. I’m so confused right now, I honestly just want to go home and eat some ice cream. 

“Um, you’re showing both of your thumbs right now?” 

“Mkay’, you’ll need to work on that confidence sweetie, but you look fine. Trust me, I’m a doctor.” 

That’s not very convincing, but since I'm not feeling any pain right now, I'm not going to question it. I don’t feel any migraines either, thank God. 

“Where are we?” 

“I’m gonna call the others here, you’ll ask your questions to them. Oh, but really, you should be fine. Fortunately, you're not one of the unlucky 20% who suffer from post-drowning neurological damage. No kidney failure either. You really dodged a bullet there!” 

And soon enough, the room was filled with three more persons. 

One being someone I already know, the other someone I would’ve wished to know, If only I had met him anywhere else. 

That man, with the most magnificent black hair I've ever seen in my life. Our eyes meet, but there's no longer the amusement I'm pretty sure I saw, back in the club. 

Instead, I feel like he’s trying an assassination attempt on me, purely with his gaze. To avoid dying again, I find myself staring at the only recognizable face in the room. 

“Erd...? What's going on?” 

But there's nothing friendly about him either. As if he was looking at me for the first time. And he's disgusted by what he sees. 

“Eren, we are going to ask you a couple of questions and you’ll answer them in details. If you do that, we’ll consider answering yours after.” 

“Only if you tell me first if my friends are okay.” 

I know I'm not in a strong position right now, but I won't budge from it. I need to know. 

“They’re okay. All four of them.” 

I sigh. Right now, I’m choosing to feel relieved by knowing they’re okay, though I’m not sure how long we’re going to stay that way. 

I keep my eyes stuck on Erd, trying to forget all the other pair of eyes staring at me like I was the devil himself. I decide to speak first, because I’m a stupid hothead. 

“I just wanna say.. I know what we did was kind of illegal, but it’s not _that_ bad. I don’t know what we’re doing here.” 

Suddenly, I see the black-haired man approaching me, the same angry look on his face as before. He makes it really hard to ignore his gaze, when he’s grabbing the collar of my hospital gown like that. 

“You want to say that again in my face? You fucking killed people out there. Or are you just used to blowing up places like this?” 

Whatever It is that he thinks, he's royally mistaken. And I know getting pissed off won't change anything, but... I Lose it when Phil's face comes back to me. When the horror of the scene reappears before my eyes. 

The blood. The screams. The heat. 

Fuck it. 

“You fucking piece of shit, you seriously think I did all that?! I got caught up in the situation and I don’t know shit about what happened! I have nothing to do with the explosions! Or..” 

I'm trying to compose myself, but gosh it is hard. I've seen dead people before, but never that many. And not like this. I still can't wrap my head around it. 

“Or with what happened to everyone... I almost died too, y’know? some asshole choked me in the fucking fish tank.” 

As I was talking, I saw the man's eyes widen a little, as if what I said was surprising to him. Is he startled by my bluntness? Or because he doesn't believe a single word I say? I have no idea. But when I was done, he threw a glance at the doctor, before leaving the room for the longest twenty seconds of my life. Did he leave to get some instruments of torture? Did I just sign my death warrant? 

Judging by the look on everyone’s face, I’m not the only lost one here. The doctor’s actually the sole person who seems to get what’s happening. They even took the time to give me a gentle look, some excitement in their eyes and a giant smile on the face. Is it fun to them that I might just die? 

Yet he came back with nothing in his hands, wearing an impassive expression that I can no longer understand. Is it anger? Boredom? Shock? I have no damn clue. And apparently his colleagues don't know either, because they're all looking at each other, probably deciding who's going to say what. 

It’s the young woman who spoke, the only one I know nothing about here, after sating down on the leather chair. 

“Eren, I’m Petra. We have a reason to know that you and your comrades are part of a very dangerous organization called the Titans. Can you tell us how long you've been part of it?” 

I frown. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

I am a part of a group, but they’re not called the Titans. Actually, I don’t even know if they have a name, I just know that I’m working for Shadis. He said to be a small part of a secret detective organization, what their name is I never gave a damn. I maybe should have. 

“We know you were there to steal Zackly’s club’s data. What did you plan to do with it?” 

Well, if they know about that, I get why they would be suspicious of us. 

I still don’t know if I can talk to them about Shadis, though. For all I know they’re responsible for everything and are just messing with us. Or it could be to test me? See if I have what it gets to know more about the organization. I really need to be careful with what I say, especially considering that I don’t know if they talked to the others and what they said. 

Still, I can’t try to deny anything. I’m a terrible liar. 

“How can I know I can trust you?” 

The man made a clacking sound with his tongue, arms folded. One of his eyebrows is slightly raised, as if what I said didn't make any sense. 

“You’re the one attached, brat.” 

If I was not, though, I’d fold my arms right now. 

“I’m not a brat.” 

I feel a weight lifting off my wrists, before seeing the doctor untying me. That's when I realize that the bandage around my right wrist is immaculate, as good as new. Wait, it _is_ a new one. The doctor, seeing me touching my arm with wonder, winked at me. They must have seen my lack of a mark, and decided to leave it hidden. I'm grateful for that. 

“You happy, sweetie? You can talk now. We won’t bite. Oh, the shorty here might though, but don't hold it against him.” 

The _“shorty”_ in question is no one else than the handsome black-haired man, who’s effectively way shorter than Erd. But with the aura he’s giving, I didn’t even realized it until now. I swear he’s throwing knives at the doctor now, but they don’t really seem to care about it. 

“Oi, why are you untying him, four-eyes?” 

“Hmm, I just don’t feel like he’s a bad guy. I’m sure this is all a misunderstanding!” 

Okay, I can’t help it, I actually chuckles. Nevermind I’m laughing now. Who the hell are those guys? 

“See? Oh you have a lovely laugh, dear” 

I decide to open it, a smile still on my face that won’t wait long before fading away. “You’re crazy. But I’ll tell you what I know. If you promised to let my friends go.” 

They all looked at each other, seemingly considering it. All but him, of course. 

“We can’t do that. Not before we haven’t decided whether you’re guilty or not.” 

I guess it leaves me no choice, then. 

“Did you talk to them?” 

“We tried,” Erd said, “But they decided to keep quiet as long as you were still unconscious. Jean almost talked, but Ymir stopped him. Even when Levi stepped up, he kept saying that you were the one who knew the most and that we should talk to you first.” 

I’m actually quite surprised that even Jean kept his mouth shut. I mean, almost without help. I’ll have to ask Ymir later how she threatened him. 

So, Levi... I guess that’s his name, then? As right now, If I had to spill the tea to someone, it would have surely been under his dangerous glare. Not like I spill the tea easily, though. But I’m certain that he’ll make it hard for me to keep quiet, if he really wanted to. 

“Are you the leader of their cult or something?” he said, arms still folded. And though he still looks annoyed, somehow he doesn’t look as deadly as he did before. 

“Eh, we’re just friends. Well, except for the horseface. You can keep him.” 

I swear I could almost see a grin on Levi’s—I hope it’s his name—face. Whether it’s because he found the nickname funny, or because he understood who I was talking about, I don’t know. But I printed that small smirk on my head and I can’t forget it now. 

“So, let’s start again, shall we? I’m the doctor Hanji Zoe. But just call me Hanji. You already know Erd, and the shorty next to him is Levi Ackerman. The pretty girl by your side is Petra Ral, and you’re Eren Jaeger. So, why did you steal those data?” 

He’s definitely Levi, then. And an Ackerman, by the way. I wonder if he's somehow related to Mikasa. They share that same darkness of a hair, although Levi's is even more intense. 

“Okay.” I take a deep breath. I really hope I’m not messing everything up. “I’m part of a group that is called the 104th squad by our boss. I only know his name, that I’m not telling you, and that he works for a detective organization. Our job is to investigate scrupulous groups to stop their business. Usually it involves stealing data, or important paper, so the organization above can stop them. I know the means are illegal, but don’t they justify the end?” 

Erd and Petra don’t hide their surprise. Hanji gives me a pat on the shoulder. Levi keep staring. I go on. 

And here goes the hard part. 

“We were told that the Zackly’s had something really fishy going on, so we infiltrated it. Conny was stealing the data, while Jean and I were making a distraction. Though only mine worked.” 

I would have smiled, if I didn’t know the rest of the story. 

“But then the bar blew off. I lost contact with the other. A dancer of the club tried to help me get out, but got knocked out by some guy. I don’t even know if he made it.” 

I have a thought towards Floch, hoping he’s doing okay, before going on. 

“The guy told me that he got rid of Sasha and Ymir, and something along the lines as _squad 104_ _th_ _you need to retire_. I swear I don’t know who this guy was, or how he knew us. After that he tried to drown me, and now I’m here.” 

I let them a moment, as I get the look on their face. I’d be confused too If I were them. But Petra suddenly looks up at me, so quickly she reminds me of Armin, when he finds the answer to a tricky question. Her eyes shone, and she cracks a smile. 

“Guys, that would make sense! If they didn’t know they were being used, it would explain why they were in the middle of the-” 

“What do you mean, _used_?” 

She turns her head back to me, before looking down a little. 

“If what you said is true, and we’ll confirm it by talking to your friends, then yes, you’ve all been used by those guys.” 

Levi’s arms are still folded. His face is wearing an annoyed expression. Nothing changes as he says; 

“You’re part of the Titans.” 

And even if I don’t exactly know who those guys are, I can tell it’s really not a good thing. I try to recall what they said about them earlier. Don’t tell me... 

“...I’m part of the assholes who killed Phil?” 

They don’t question who Phil is. Actually, they don’t question anything anymore. Hanji took Petra’s and Erd’s arms and led them out with her, after telling Levi that they were going to talk to the others. 

Now it’s just the two of us. The heavy silence in the room makes my next words ring in the air, strengthening their power. 

“I’ll kill them all.” 

But I only realized what they meant after hearing them. Somehow, they make perfect sense. 

Levi sighed. “Zackly was part of another group rival of the Titans, and they wanted to destroy them completely, thus using you as a suicide squad. I get why you’d want to do that.” 

And, to rub salt in the wound, he added; 

“Zackly’s club had nothing illegal going on. It was just a shitty club for old pervs’, nothing more.” 

“But, all those dangerous groups that we identified; they were doing bad stuff! L-like the Hostel group who was exploiting children, we helped stopping them!” 

I can’t believe that all I did, was actually helping the guys I thought I was stopping. I can’t believe I lied to Armin all those nights to be a part of it. 

“Well, I guess they made you steal their own sub-group to keep track of their actions without them knowing. But the Hostel group is still in activity. Even us are still on their track.” 

I let his words submerged me. I get drown again. There’re many things I still don’t understand, and trying to bring the pieces together is too painful. Both mentally and physically. I start to feel a headache coming, and weirdly it makes me come back to my senses. In all that, it’s the only thing that stayed the same. 

I put my hands on my temples to ease the in-coming pain. I can hear Levi’s footsteps fading in the distance though, and as I looked up, he said; “I’m getting Hanji.” with a nonchalant bored look I suppose must be his usual. 

But before he could leave, I still got to ask the other driving question that was stuck in the back of my mind. 

“Who are you all?” 

A hand on the doorknob, he looked back to say; 

_“The Wings Of Freedom.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you get the Lookism ref? I somehow managed to keep the same chapter's length up until now, though this one and chapter 7's are longer.  
> By the way, for my fellow french going against Parcoursup this year, I hope you got accepted in your school! See you soon on Pluto ;)


	7. In jail or not in jail, that is the question

_**Eren** _

“So you suffer from chronic migraines, huh? Why didn’t you say it sooner!” 

I like the high-energetic, non-judgmental aura Hanji’s giving off. I’m pretty sure you can never get bored with them, like they’re the life of the party. And I dig that kind of people, as they’re always where the fun is. 

“You didn’t exactly let me the time to do so, with the interrogation and all..” 

After my headache showed up, Hanji turned off the lights and gave me a cold compress to put on my forehead. I eventually fell asleep, and though I’m still in pain, I can handle having a conversation. I don’t know if I’m ready to have one with Hanji though, but they somehow look calmer than sooner in the day. Or was it yesterday? Shit, how long have I been in here? 

“Um, Hanji? What time is it? I don’t want my roommate to get worried...” 

They made a weird face before almost tripping on whatever was on the floor. Oh no, I have a bad feeling about this. And the last time I got one, I almost died. 

“Uh, ah! It’s kind of, 5pm, and it's... Sunday.” 

Hold on, the Zackly thing happened on Friday. Does that mean that I slept almost two days?! And that I have classes tomorrow?! And that Armin probably thinks I got kidnapped and called Mikasa and I’m about to get killed once more?! 

“Could you lend me your phone? I really need to call my sister. Or you’re all dying really soon.” 

I dialed the number learned by heart, and it didn’t even ringed once before she answered. 

“Hello? Who is it? Eren?” 

I’m dead. 

“I’m fine, don’t worr-” 

“Where the hell are you?! Armin told me you haven’t been answering your phone after some party you went to, did you get into trouble again? Do I need to come pick you up? Are you okay?” 

I sigh. “I said I’m fine. I lost my phone at the party and stayed at a house’s friend. I’ll come back soon, you don’t need to pick me up.” 

Actually, I don’t even know when I’m going home. Or if I’m ever going home. Hanji and that other girl seemed to believe in what I say, but Erd and Levi are probably still on the fence with me. I also need to talk to Erd before leaving, about him being our manager at the Café. It can’t just be a coincidence. 

“Are you sure? Miss Rico won’t mind if I leave now.” 

Knowing her, she’s probably not completely buying it. I’m pretty sure she started doubting my half-assed explanations when I started having more bruises. So, if I want to get out of this situation without her putting a GPS on my future phone, I need to drown the fish. Wow, look like I can already make puns about my near-death. 

“Talking about Rico, you still haven’t met your Soulmate? You’ve been working with her part-time for a year now, still no sound of that _Rico broke her ankles and I’m here to replace her and be in love with you_ person?” 

We’ve never really talked about love, as she never showed a lot of interest in it and I would just get reminded of my own fate. But I still want the best for her. And though I don’t fully believe in the Ceremony, I saw what it did to some. And I’m hoping Mikasa is part of the lucky ones. She has to be. 

“...We were talking about you, Eren. But no, I still haven’t met them. And I don’t really look forward to it. I want to focus on the Aikido.” 

“Awnn that’s too bad! Don’t forget to tell me first when you meet them!” 

“I will. By the way, how’s your head? Do you still often have those awful migraines?” 

“Haven’t had any complaints, yet!” 

I know she won’t get the reference, but at least I managed to make myself laugh. And what more can you wish for? Heck, maybe I _am_ my own Soulmate! 

“Okay. Good. Do you need any money to buy a new phone?” 

She’s the definition of being too kind for your own good. 

“Mikasa. You can’t keep taking care of me like that, you know? I have a part-time job too..” two, actually. Well, I may have just lost the both of them, but let's not talk about that. “I can pay for my own things. I’ll be fine.” 

She’s like a mother sometimes. And even if I know she means well, I would like her to focus on living her life a bit more. She can’t keep on worrying about me that much, or she’ll end up with grey hair before even graduating college. She’ll rock the look, though. 

“I gotta go. Can you tell Armin not to worry and that I’ll be back once I’m done with something?” 

“I thought you were at a friend’s house..? What do you need to take care of?” 

Didn’t I say I was a terrible liar? 

“Oh, nothing really. School related. Love ya!” 

I hang up before she could ask more questions and make me dig up my own grave even deeper. I gave Hanji their phone back. They stare at it for some seconds before breaking the silence. 

“Hey sweetie, I was wondering... Why is it you don’t have any mark?” 

Ah, there we go. I knew it would come out at some point. 

“I don’t know. The Ceremony didn’t work on me. Guess I don’t deserve it, haha!” 

Hanji hugs me. They don’t ask to know more about it, nor about the weird, not-even-damn-straight line inked. 

“Oh, by the way.. I didn’t know if I could ask, but... What gender are you?” 

Hanji went into full laugh mode, and they’re being so noisy that I couldn’t even hear Levi entering the room before he spoke. 

“You won’t get an answer, brat. They don’t even know.” 

I look back at Hanji while they just shrug. Whelp, here goes my answer. 

“Are you done with the kid? We need to talk to him.” 

Erd also steps in, a small smile on his lips. He’s probably trying to keep himself from laughing as well, and I get it. Hanji’s laugh is pretty infectious. Which is the last straw for a doctor. 

“Soo, do you all work on Sundays?” 

I don’t how long it has been since they were here, but I just hope they didn’t hear the whole no-mark thing. I don’t want people to know. And for some reasons, I _really_ don’t want Levi to know. I feel like he’d judge me and that scares me. 

“Unfortunately, yes. Not all of us, but some needs to keep an eye on the lost kids that took our place for a shelter. Tch.” 

Erd coughs. “What he means, is that as a part of the Survey Corps, we always have a lot to work with. Especially since our squad is different than the others.” 

“Oh yeah, Levi told me you were _The Wings_ _Of_ _Freedom_? What does that mean exactly?” 

“Like Erd said, we're a part of the Survey Corps, a special branch of the military who's basically doing what you thought were doing. Infiltrating dangerous places to take down criminal organizations. So, we don’t have a lot of times off, and no one really knows about us, apart from the Military’s officers.” 

I'm starting to believe that I actually have a knack for getting into trouble. Between the attempted kidnapping of Mikasa when we were just kids, that failure of a Ceremony, the loss of my parents... I wonder when will the tables turn. 

“Oh, I see.. So you were on the Titans track when you fell on us. But then, Erd, why were you our manager at the Café? Was it a coincidence?” 

I’m choosing to speak in the past, as I don’t really know where we are in all that. And it would be weird to talk to Erd as a manager, now. 

“Actually, no. We’ve known your implication on the Titans for some time, and were waiting for a mission like this to arrest you and throw you in jail. Me working in the Café was just to keep an eye on you. Boss’s order.” 

A lot of things are starting to make sense. Why Erd didn’t seem to really like us, and how come Sasha wasn’t being fired with all the pastries she ate. Yet I can’t believe I might end up in jail, for an action I though meant helping in the shadows, like a sort of anti-hero. I’m going to lose my scholarship. I won’t go back to Uni. I won’t live with Armin anymore- 

No. I’m not going to lose everything I have again. That’s unfair. And I can’t let that happen. 

“But Erd, you’ve been our manager for weeks now, you know us! You know we’re not like them!” 

Erd don’t answer that, leaving the room instead. Levi tells Hanji to walk me into Erwin’s office once we’re done. He must be their Commander, then. I need to get out of here, and hopefully he’ll listen to me. I’m dead if he doesn’t. 

Before stepping out of the room as well, Levi throws once last glare at me, one that I can’t fully understand. I can tell he wants to say something, but shrug it off to simply say that I’ll be able to see my friends after talking to Erwin. 

So, without further ado, that’s what we do. Hanji brings me to a room well hidden by a succession of hallways that all look alike, so much that it must be really easy to get lost in here without a map. Even Hanji seems to hesitate sometimes, and when I asked why the place was built this way, she just said; “Because of our jobs we need to get lost by the people who might come after us. Seems legit to be lost ourselves!” 

I look around, and though the good number of lamps makes the place pretty well lit, you can’t help but notice that there’s no window. 

“Oh, that’s cause we’re underground. I swear, it almost doesn’t always smell like it!” 

I’d hate to be trapped here all day. I still don’t know what to do for my painting assignment, but at least I can cross this place off my list of possible inspirations. And It's certainly not in jail that I’ll find out what freedom means to me either. So really, Erwin’s my only hope now. 

“Hey honey, you know I believe you. And I’m sure Erwin will do as well, if you show him who you are like you did to me. Cheer up, buddy! I’ll see you later!” 

Just like this, Hanji left me in front of a door looking just like any others here. 

_Knocking on Heaven’s door_ plays in my mind and I chuckle at the irony. Hell could just as much be waiting for me on the other side. 

“Come in.” 

I quickly understand why _he_ is the Commander. His presence is like no one else. I didn’t even fully stepped into the room that I felt like thrown into the den of a lion. Sure, Levi’s got one hell of an aura, one that could make you bend and pray for your life. But as much as he makes you want to fear him by being really intimidating, Erwin commands respect. And I’ve not even completely made my way to the chairs in front of his desk yet. 

He cracks a smile that hides meanings I don’t want to understand. 

“Hello Eren. I was waiting for you.” 

I can see that. He showed me a chair and I sit on it, a sight leaving my body. Despite the looks of it, they’re actually pretty comfortable. 

“I know you already spoke to Captain Levi Ackerman and squad members Erd Jinn and Petra Rall, but if you do not mind, I would like you to tell me what happened once more.” 

And I do. I leave no details behind, this time. I give him Shadis’ name, still unsure about his part on the Titans. But I have a feeling in my gut. One that once led me astray but is now taking me to the truth. I’ve been left with a bitter taste of betrayal in my mouth, and you can be sure that I’ll take care of it by spilling it all out. If it ends up being a mistake, then so be it. 

“Good, what you say matches what your friends said.” 

He must have seen the look in my eyes because he added, “They talked after knowing that you did.” 

I stare at him, searching for an answer to my next words before he could even respond to them.“So.. What are you going to do about us?” 

He smirked, which startled me a little and made me add a “...Commander” at the end of my sentence. I don’t feel like being a rogue right now. 

“We’ll need to keep an eye on you, and if need there is, we’ll probably use you to get to the Titans.” 

I’m almost surprised at his honesty, but quickly put that aside to make sure of what I hoped I understood. 

“So, we’re not going in jail?” 

Erwin actually chuckles, like what I said was funny to him. Has it never been a possibility? 

“Did squad member Erd said that? He has a strong sense of duty and justice, but in the end, I’m the one who makes the final decision.” 

“Does that mean we can go back to our lives?” 

“Technically, yes. But if you go back to the Titan’s side, you _will_ end up in jail. We’re still a part of the military, and a word from me can sign the end of you.” 

I don’t doubt his threat a second. But I’m okay with it. I don’t plan on ever helping those guys again. 

“Don’t worry. I hate them as much as you do.” 

“As much, I don’t know. But I believe you. Now let’s get you back to your friends.” 

None of us says a word as we approach a room, looking just like any others. Except for the canvas locking it. 

“Oh, Eren’s here. Still alive, huh?” 

“Unfortunately, so are you, horseface.” 

Sasha runs towards us before smothering me in a hug, her stomach gurgling as she does so. Conny tries to fist-bump me, but I lure him into a big group hug instead. 

“Missed me much?” I said, a grin well settled. 

“Well, we’re not the same trio without our ace!” 

“You’re not a trio at all if you’re only two, Conny.” 

I'm heading to the source of the comment, leaning against one of the walls. Ymir greets me with a nod, and I nod back. 

“Say, Ymir.. What did you tell Jean to make him shut up?” 

She smirks. Another thing that didn’t change much from our school days. 

“Well, I realized that you could obtain a lot of things from him by bringing Marco’s name...” 

She’s evil. I love it. 

“Hey, what’re you two talking abou-” 

Jean didn’t even finish his sentence as he spotted Levi at Erwin’s side. I wonder, for the second time already, how long it has been since he entered the room. The both of them are now looking at us, and we’re somehow suddenly all quiet. Even Sasha’s stomach isn’t growling. Levi cleared his throat, as if he didn’t have everyone’s attention already, before speaking. 

“Listen, brats. They probably believe you dead, now. And even if they do have doubts, they don’t care about you or feel threatened by what you could say to us enough to finish their job.” 

As if he picked up that Levi won’t say more, Erwin talked. I internally laugh at the idea of the short man being a personification of Twitter. Like he doesn’t have enough characters to talk more. 

“You should be fine, just lay low for a while. Even if they realize that you’re all alive, they won’t know that you talked to us. If you meet them, say that you don’t want to work anymore because it scares you. We’ll manage then.” 

I’m not quite sure what laying low means, but I won’t ask. A part of me is glad to know that they probably won’t plan on killing us, but the other one is mad. Mad that they don’t see us as a threat. We’re not a bunch of toys you can use and throw away when you’re done playing. 

I’ll show them. 

“Oh no, I know this look. Eren’s got another reckless idea in mind.” 

You don’t say, Conny. 

“Can I be one of you?” 

Levi raised one eyebrow, arms still folded, before coming at me. He stopped at a certain distance, close enough I can hear some variation of baritone in his voice, but far enough so he doesn’t have to look up to talk to me. 

“Oi kid, we’re not in your school playground. It’s not a place for a brat.” 

I take a step forward. Then another. The next one puts me right in front of him. I somehow feel shortened by his glaze, but I don’t look away. I don’t know how to. 

Jean’s taking my arm. 

“Are you out of your mind? So the club thing wasn’t enough for you?” 

Erwin's laughter intervenes, but my eyes never leave Levi's. Not until I hear his statement. 

“Fine. We will need to train you before you can be of any use, but I have the feeling that you will be a quick learner.” 

Levi's still facing me, head slightly raised to the side but never leaving mine, as he answered. 

“Are you serious, Erwin?” 

“Come on, I’m sure he’ll be helpful. Don’t you think so?” 

We meet again. 

“Tsk.” 

Sasha raised her voice. 

“If Eren’s joining, I want too!” 

I check on Conny, now taking Sasha’s hand. 

“Yeah, uh, same.” 

And Ymir joined in. 

“If you need more computer skills, I’m available. But I want to be paid.” 

Erwin smirked, Levi clacked his tongue. I think we just won this. Or we just made the worst decision of our life. I cannot decide yet. 

“Well, It’s settled then. You’ve all been chosen for an internship in the most secretive branch of the military.” 

“Congra-fucking-lation. More work for us, and up-coming deaths for you.” 

I don’t know what’s taking me, but I’m getting even closer to those black hair again. I speak to him in a whisper, as only he could understand my next words. 

“I did say I wanted to kill them. I’ve got to live up to those expectations now.” 

If I’d know better, I’d say that the tension in his shoulder decreased. That his mouth was slightly, oh so slightly, smiling. That those glowing, silver eyes were hiding something I still can’t put my fingers on. 

Something I can’t help but feel drawn to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another longer chapter yay! Though this one was somehow harder for me to write. What do you think about it? And See you soon on Pluto ;)


	8. Not my cup of Hot chocolate

**_Eren_ **

I came home around 9pm. Thankfully, I never take my keys when on the job, as you could never know how you’ll get home. I usually keep my phone with me, or hidden somewhere I know I can get back to if something happened. But I did not plan for the whole place to blow up. I’m at least glad I won’t need to get myself new keys. I’ve learnt to hide them in our carpet instead, in a small hole I made with a knife. Armin would probably get mad if he knew, but luckily, he still doesn’t. 

I couldn’t even make a step into the apartment that a little blond head was rushing towards me. His arms folded around his chest, but not the same way Levi does it. Rather than putting up an obstacle between him and the world, Armin's crossing of arms is uncertain. His back is slightly bent forward, some of his fingers tapping his arm like a mother ready to scold her child. But his facial expression doesn't suggest anger. 

He just wants answers. 

“Eren, you got us worried sick.” Pause. “Where’s your bag?” 

I don’t like the look in his eyes. I can tell he’s analyzing something and I’m scared to hear what he’ll come up with. He’s not dumb, he can tell when something’s wrong. I don’t wear my clothes, but a pair of loose jeans and a hoodie Erd gave me. And yeah, I don’t have my damn bag anymore. It’s still at the club. Or what’s left of it. 

“Yeah, um, I also lost it. At the party.” 

He’s not buying it. I know he’s not. He unfolds his arms, a mere worry-filled look on the face. I like that even less. 

“Can we talk? Or are you too tired?” 

I feel a pinch in my heart. Even when looking suspicious, he’s still putting my well-being above his will of knowing what truly happened. How can I back off from that? 

“I’m all good, we can talk.” 

I try a smile, but honestly, we both know that something fishy’s going on. We sat on the couch, after making us both a cup of coffee. I feel like we’re going to need it. 

“Eren, when you didn’t come back yesterday, I called Thomas.” 

Oh boy. Thomas is a guy from my class, apparently also a somewhat of an acquaintance to Armin. 

“I asked him if something happened to you at the party. He said he didn’t see you there.” 

At this point, I’m straight-up giving him a shovel to help me digging up my own grave. 

“Well, there’s a lot of people in a party, I’m not surprised if he didn-” 

“…He said he never saw you at a party. Not even once.” 

I look down at my lap. I’m not a thinker, I don’t know how to get out of this situation. I don’t know what’s the best thing to say, or the least worst thing to do. For both him and me. 

I don’t look at him before feeling his hand on my shoulder. 

“Eren, please don’t lie. what’s going on?” 

Shadis more than explicitly said it, how we were not allowed to talk about them. But The wings of freedom? Sure, they also made it clear how secret their branch was, but I should be fine as long as I don’t get into too much detail. Enough to satisfy Armin, not enough to endanger him. 

I cannot lie to him anyway. I did that long enough to know that’s not what I want. 

“Listen, it needs to stay between us. I mean it. You can’t even talk to Mikasa about it. Promise me.” 

He knows how promises are important to me. If there's one rule I've always followed, it's to never make promises I'm not sure I can keep. 

“Okay. You’re worrying me, but if you don’t want it, then I won’t speak about it. I promise.” 

I take a mouthful of coffee, and start the tale again. 

I tell him that I’ve been working at night, in what I thought was a sort of detective work that turns out to be a scrupulous organization. I tell him I used to steal information, and fought my way out every time something messed up. I tell him that my two coworkers at the Café were in it with me, but I don’t talk about Erd. He nods at everything I said, which internally makes me laugh. Like any of these things make sense. 

“I realized it Friday night. The place I was in blew up when we were stealing their data, and-” 

“Wait wait wait, Friday night… The Zackly? You were at _T_ _he_ _Zackly_ _?”_

If it has been on the news, then an investigation must be going on. I wonder how this one will turn out. 

“Yeah… I ended up being taken by some guy from a secret part of the military to get interrogated, and decided to join them. I guess it’s my way of atoning for what I did.” 

I let him a moment to put the pieces together. Armin’s always been fascinated by the unknown. What’s there but not completely visible. What doesn’t quite make sense yet. That’s part of why he’s studying the oceanography. I’ve always thought it suited him. 

“Aren’t you in danger now...? What if those guys come back?” 

“I’ll be fine, Armin. We're not even a threat to them.” 

His hand on my shoulder makes me realize that I’ve been clenching my fist. 

“But if you joined a part of the military, you’re probably going to meet them soon.” 

I sure hope I do. 

“I’ll make them pay if that were to happen.” 

He looks at me straight in the eyes, before sighing. Seems like I won. 

“Well, nothing I could say would change your mind, huh? Not with that look on your face. You know you’ll get yourself killed one day?” 

We laugh it off, but restrain myself from telling him that it almost happened. That reminds me that I’ll need to ask who got me out of there. A thank you surely is in order. 

“Okay hot-head, let’s get to bed. Oh, and what about grabbing some coffee tomorrow after class? I feel like there’s a lot I still don’t know.” 

He couldn’t be more right. 

“Great idea! Before we go to sleep though, is there anything I can _get you, blue eyes?”_

Mikasa and I like teasing him about his mark. Especially for that blue eyes part. Well, I’m the one who mostly do the teasing, Mikasa is the one who scolds me for it. But I can’t help it, that sentence really makes me want to meet them. I picture his Soulmate being someone pretty confident, to straight-up be flirting at the first sentence. And I wonder how it’s going to work with Armin’s personality. Though I don’t know why, but he brushed the subject off when Mikasa and I tried to talk to him about it. I concluded that he was avoiding talking about it in front of me, who’s Soulmateless. But truly, all I want is for him to be happy. 

And just like this, I went to sleep. A lot on my mind, but somehow at peace. 

… 

“Eren, that’s like, the worst place to fall in love with someone.” 

“I’m not- I'm not in love, geez. He's just really hot.” 

Armin gives me one of his looks again, those he makes when he knows something I don’t. I decided to tell him about the black-haired man without ever naming him, as well as the re-encounter with Jean and Ymir. He offered to host a party with them to catch up, but I'm on the fence about it. I'm not sure about wanting to go back to the past where it was normal for us not to be marked. 

“Did you see his mark?” 

“How could I? And what would that change anyway, it’s not like we could match.” 

I stare intensely at my cup of Mudslide Latte, as if all my answers where hidden within it. Thankfully, before I could kill the mood entirely, a voice took our minds off it. 

“Have you been waiting for long?” 

Mikasa ended up joining us, at Armin’s demand. He figured it would be a good idea, especially after the scare I gave her. He’s right, I owe it to them. 

“Nope, don’t worry.” As if she would ever stop worrying. “How have you been?” 

Armin throws me a look, again, and I’m now sure that he’s an evil genius, despite his angelic demeanor. He’s not Machiavellian enough as to tell Mikasa about my escapade on Friday, but I haven't made him promise to keep his mouth sewn shut about a certain pair of black hair yet. I know I’ll need to broach the subject with her, one way or another, to find out whether they’re related or not. But I don’t want to bring back any painful memories, and anything related to her family bears the possibility to be one. Her parents are already long gone, and so are mine. I shouldn’t remind her of that because I met some hot guy who may or may not be some obscure third degree’s uncle. 

She’s raising her hand to someone behind me, to get herself a drink. I hear his footsteps alarmingly advancing towards us, almost like in a hurry. Just like Sasha’s first day at the Aslan Café. That was pretty fun to watch. 

“Ah, sorry it’s not my table, but I can call your designated serv- wait, Eren?” 

I turned around to meet some short, tousled red hair with a pair of agitated eyes. We don’t say a thing for a couple of seconds, before Mikasa's throat clearing brings us back to Earth. Shit, how the hell am I supposed to introduce him? 

“Um, guys, this is Floch. A friend I met at, uh, a party.” 

I look at Armin and he gets it. He backs me up by telling Mikasa that he was the one I stayed at Friday night, and I’m impressed by his lying ability. An evil genius, I said. 

Floch looks a little lost, but then a “ah!” leaves his mouth and I’m trying not to laugh. I didn’t picture him as the clueless type, but it looks like we have more in common than I thought. He must think that I want to hide the kind of job I was doing, but the truth is even worse. I want to ask him if he’s okay, and what happened after I left. How’s everyone doing. But I’ll wait for it to be alone, and simply sends him a small smile. No words are needed to understand that one. He quickly greets Mikasa and ask him for her order, saying he’ll pass it on to the attributed waiter, before looking at Armin. Precisely, at Armin’s empty cup of tea. I was finishing my own when he spoke to the blond head for the first time, making me spill my drink. 

“And what can I get you, _blue eyes_?” 

Blue eyes opened his mouth but no words came out of it. Floch tilted his head lightly, like a lost puppy waiting for an answer. He asked Armin if he was all right, the latter having turned as pale as a vampire, but still no answer. I would have imagined Armin blushing when meeting his soulmate. Instead, he looks on the verge of throwing up. Mikasa even gives him a pat on the back, her _mom mode_ on. That’s really not how I would’ve picture a meeting with a Soulmate. 

“I’m fine, thank you Floch. I’m Armin, nice to meet you.” 

He said, after looking at Mikasa to reassure her. I’m focusing back on Floch, who’s rolling up his sleeve to find the words ink on his wrist, obviously reading them several times. 

“oh shit.” 

No one really knows what to do. None of us have met their Soulmates here. We don’t know if they’re feeling something special, like a foresight invading the heart, overwhelming them with a feeling never felt before. Or maybe the emotion is so strong that it makes you sick, clouding the mind of all coherent thoughts. Maybe that’s why a simple sentence with a cute statement left Armin in a need of air to form words. Maybe it’s so beyond everything else that it ends up being terrifying. What could I ever know about it? Though in that instance, I don’t feel so jealous. The realization looks pretty scary. 

Floch left on the pretext of sending word of Mikasa's order, and we follow him by the eyes. I can no longer find an ounce of the confidence he showed on stage, for all that’s left is a lost and clumsy child. 

“Armin, how do you feel?” 

I finally meet Armin’s eyes again, but I barely recognize them. 

“To be honest, I don’t really know... But I- I don’t want to stay here. I think.” 

Mikasa and I look at each other, and we immediately stand up. She left to pay at the counter, and I search for a pen and a piece of paper in my bag. I don’t know If she managed to cancel her order, but knowing her, she probably just paid for it. She comes back not so long after, and I leave the both of them alone just the time to give my number to Floch. I tell him that I don’t have a phone right now, but I’ll get one as soon as possible. Looking back at Mikasa and Armin leaving the place, he put a hand behind his neck. 

“Is it my fault? Or is he, like, already with someone or some shit...” 

“I don’t know, but I don’t think you’re to blame though. Send me a message and I’ll call you back. We really need to talk.” 

He nods. 

“I gotta go. But before that, are you okay? After, you know...” 

I probably shouldn’t have brought that subject while he’s working, but you know I’m stupid. He told me he’s fine, but we both know he’s not. I don’t even want to think of what happened to the other guys. I’m just hoping they got a better fate than Phil did. 

… 

We’re back at our apartment, lying on the same couch that witnessed my confession the night before. Except this time, it's Armin's turn. 

“I’m so sorry we had to leave early because of me.” 

“Don’t, Armin, It’s fine. We’re just worried about you.” 

As Mikasa went to the kitchen, Armin sat closer to me. 

“Say, Eren, did you meet him Friday?” 

“Yeah, he was one of the dancers at the Zackly’s. But I’m certain that he doesn’t have anything to do with what happened. I don’t know him much, but he saved my ass out there.” I put a hand on Armin’s shoulder. “I really think is a good guy.” 

But that doesn't seem to cheer Armin up. Quite the contrary, actually. He looks even more nervous, playing with the cords of his sweatshirt. 

Mikasa came back, with three cups of hot chocolate. Our favorite drinks as kids. She knows how to play with nostalgia. 

“What happened, Armin? It’s not like you to panic like this.” 

Armin takes a deep breath, before searching comfort in our faces. We got you, buddy. 

“I’m still confused, but I guess that I got scared by the realization of it all. I’ve never really thought about love, and suddenly meeting the person I’m supposed to be with... Was just too much. Like I suddenly had to go out with him, you know? But I don’t even know if I’m into guys. I don’t even know who I’m attracted to. What if I can’t fall in love with him? I’m scared of all those things I don’t know yet.” 

I stand here, less lost but quite dumbfounded. I never thought of it that way. I am well placed to know the feeling of helplessness in the face of a higher entity supposed to know better than us who we should love. Or who we can't. But I didn’t know how hard it was on him, and I now feel like a terrible friend. Guilt crams down my throat over all the past teasing, and I need to take a sip of that childhood memory before choking up. 

Mikasa is the first one to speak up. 

“I’m sorry Armin, I never realized how you felt before.” 

But Armin shrugs it off. 

“It’s on me, I never talked to you about it. I didn’t want to annoy you.” 

“For once, you’re the stupid one here! You’d never annoy us, dum-dum!” 

He chuckles at my theatrical arm movement, and I’m glad to see some color on his face again. The vampire look doesn’t suit him. 

“Thanks for hearing me out.” 

“Always, blond head.” 

Mikasa nods. 

“I still have some time left, what do you say I drive you to the mall and we can buy Eren a new phone?” 

And that’s what we did. As soon as we got home, Armin helped me configuring the phone, as I’ve never been one to care about technology. I’m glad to see all my contacts already updated, though. Apparently, they’re linked with my phone number. I don’t know how it works, but that’s convenient, and I’m here for it. 

But there’s one number that I don’t recognize, at least not before reading their message. 

“Erwin here, a car will come and pick you up Saturday at 8am, for special training. Be sure to wake up on time. Have a nice week.” 

With how my week started, I wonder how it’s going to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed my boys Armin, and Floch.. But do you miss Levi? Because if so, stay tuned for next week… You'll get plenty of the little man *wink*  
> Oh also, I'm terrible at writing summaries. If any of you have an idea on what I could write instead, I'm all ears. See you soon on PlUtO (that's terrible too oh no)


	9. Struck by lightning

_**Levi** _

I didn’t plan to have this conversation at all. But since the fucking brat wants to come here again and have a taste of what death feels like, I don’t really have a choice. Technically I could, but I swore to Erwin back then to always keep him updating about everything happening in my life that can have an impact on our job. And I never make promises I’m not sure I can keep. Then why would they be call promises for?

Although I've never needed to honor my end of the bargain. At least to this day.

On my way to Erwin’s shitty office, I wonder how I’ve been spared the conversation with Four-eyes. I can feel their insistent stare from time to time, accompanied by a smirk proving that they know, but not a word concerning the issue. It's strange coming from Hanji, but I sure ain’t minding it. I’m grateful, even. I didn't want to talk about it, mostly because it pisses me off, but the kids are having their first training today and he'll be there. So I have no choice but to talk to Erwin now, to make sure I spend as little time as needed with the kid.

I enter the small room without knocking, finding myself in front of the psycho doctor chatting loudly with Erwin.

I have a hunch it's going to be a long day.

“Oh hi short-stack! What got’ya here this morning?”  
Hanji’s a lost cause, I understood that pretty quickly. It’s no use throwing them my death glare anymore, they somehow seem immune to it. With time I’ve learned that the best course of action to use against them was ignorance. That always does the trick.  
“I need to talk to you, Erwin.”  
They look at each other before smiling stupidly. Erwin stretches out his hand in the direction of the seat that Four-eyes has just left, to now stand by his side. As if I'm going to sit on something that unclean.  
“What is it, Levi?”  
“It’s about my mark.”  
Erwin sighs, as if disappointed, before picking up his bag. Hanji yells a loud _YES!_ before doing their happy dance, as they always do when things goes their way.  
I don’t understand what the hell is going on until Erwin hands Hanji money.

Did the bastards just bet on me?

“Sorry, Levi. Hanji told me about your situation Friday night, and I got carried away with the gamble idea.”  
"Yep! I bet you'd come and tell him about Eren this morning before he gets here, and him right after the training! I know you so well, my little Lev!"

I don't believe it. Actually, it all makes sense now. I should have known something was wrong, with Hanji being so quiet.  
I fold my arms. I'm going to need some coffee.

“Great, so you understand why we can’t have those kids running around here like it’s kindergarten or something. Especially not that one.”  
I’ve known since the beginning that I wasn’t meant to be with someone. I’ve dated before, sure, but I always knew that the love was not there. And I don’t understand how the love could be there with some kid whose first words were insults. Though I might be wrong about one thing.

“.. Granting he might not even be my soulmate. People have said some shitty things to me before, it won’t surprise me if I’ve already heard it from someone some place else.”  
I turn to Hanji, whom is just rolling their eyes. I could be mad at them for deciding to tell this to Erwin without asking me, but it's no use doing that now.

“Come on, you would’ve known! Those were pretty specific insults! People aren’t usually that creative when it comes to making fun of you. Usually, they start with how short you are, before we step in to stop you from killing them.”

She wouldn’t know. She’s not always here when I interrogate people, and I’m never soft on them when I do so. I’ve heard pretty much everything, and trust me, even the most boring souls find imagination in them to elegantly tell me to fuck off. That kind of words could have easily been thrown at me in a moment where my mind was so focused on the job that I didn’t even notice. And quite frankly, “piece of shit” isn’t really creative. The level of anger in his eyes when he said those words though, was not something I usually see. But you can’t see it in a mark. Well, it’s not like I care about it anyway. I’ve given up on people a while ago. I just don’t want to get disturbed.  
“Haven’t you seen his mark, Hanji? You were the one who cleaned him up.”

They start whistling. They fucking start whistling.

“Well, um, I can't say anything, y’know! I'm bound by doctor-patient confidentiality.”  
They dared smirking while doing so. I don’t know what’s keeping me from pinning them to the wall.  
“Don’t pull that shit on me.”  
Erwin coughs, but my attention stays on Hanji.  
“Okay now, they should already be here so let’s wrap this up. Levi, you can ask Eren about his mark if you really want to know. But I’m keeping the kids for the time being. I know for a fact that they can be useful to us.”

He’s using his Commander eyes on me and that’s my clue for leaving. Nothing can change that man’s piece of mind. And even if I could, I wouldn’t. He’s the one who got me out of the hell I was in, and it’s a debt I cannot repay. As long as he does his job, then I’ll do mine. And he hasn’t yet failed us.

I made my way to the main entrance, where the kids were talking with the squad members. Eren included. He’s talking vividly with Petra, arms moving in all places as if he needed that much movement to convey his feelings. I can’t believe they already seem like best buddies. She should know better to keep her distance from coworkers, especially when you don’t know how good they are yet. You don’t want them dying on you to then having to live with the guilt. But I guess that’s how she is. She keeps on loving people, and people just keeps on loving her back. The hell she’s doing working here, I don’t know. Don’t know, don’t care.

I turn to look at him, and I’m taken aback by his eyes again. I’m telling myself it’s only because of the way they resemble Isabelle’s so much, but I know there’s more to it. They’re not quite the same shade, there’s a fighting spirit somewhere in them that forces you to stare. He wears them like he’s already been to hell and isn’t afraid of it anymore. No—more like he keeps getting there but always manages to bring himself back here.

We meet and he smiles awkwardly. And I wonder if he knows. I can’t remember what my first words were to him. Wait—I’m pretty sure I mumbled to myself when I tried saving him. Does that count? Hell if I know. But I don’t have the time to get more into it, as Erwin steps into the room.

“Hello everyone, we’re glad to have you.” No we’re not, Erwin. Not in the slightest. “As a special squad, our training isn’t exactly like others in the military. We will check on your physical aptitude, sure, but also and more importantly on your agility. Discretion. You should all already have some background for those things.”

I look at him again and it isn’t hard picturing how he feels. He’s pissed off, hands clenched. But you can also see how he hasn’t given up. I play his words again in my head, _I’ll kill them all_ , and in that moment I tend to believe them. We’ve been on those assholes’ asses for some time now, so I don’t know how he’s going to change anything. But I may see a bit of potential. Suddenly his face lights up, as he looks up to the horse looking guy.  
“Actually, Commander, little Kirstein here was only with us for one mission. I’m doubting his discretion skills. Oh, and he’s also a terrible dancer.”  
He ends his remark by looking so triumphantly to a now infuriating Jean that I could almost puff. His tension seems to have wandered off, so I’m assuming that using sarcasm might be his way of dealing with anger. Which is still better than punching things. We had a member like that a while ago. He got himself killed because he couldn’t stop hitting the floor when things weren’t going his way. How’s that for discretion.

Well, he’ll need to learn how to shut it. Which is probably not going to be the easiest lesson to teach, seeing how he acts with the other kid. It takes Sasha to pull them apart, and for a second, I catch a glimpse of a defining muscle showing itself on her bare arm. I guess the girl’s stronger than she looks.

“Cut it now, and get your asses to follow me. We’re going to train you until you puke everything you ate the past 10 years.”  
Erwin chuckles, before adding; “You heard him, I’d advise you to do as he says. Levi Ackerman is the Captain of this squad, the highest ranked after me. He will go hard on you, but remember that none of it is for nothing.”  
That is if they’re okay enough to pass the first test. Without the will, they won’t last a day. By the end of it, I’m sure there won’t be much left.

Apart maybe from that green-eyes one, much to my regret.  
“Ymir, you said you were good with computers, right? Perhaps you would like to skip the physical training to test yourself with our technical team?” said Erwin, as we’re all walking towards our main training room.

Although our squad has been made to go out in the field, we still need a backup from time to time. Petra was one of ours on on Friday night, but only because she couldn’t enter the club. Usually Erwin is also with them, though he comes with us when he feels like it. None of us can understand what the guy thinks, but as long as whatever thoughts running into his head’s keeping me running on my feet, I won’t question it.

Hanji believes that he wants to go on missions so we know he’s leading us and not just bossing us around like most Commanders do. Which would be totally stupid, as we've always shown him how willing we are to act upon his words. Then again, it’s Hanji’s idea. A dumb idea coming from a dumb person only seems right.

“Thank you, but it only seems fair that I go with the others. I’m probably even stronger than Conny. But you can ask him, he’s the one studying computer sciences.”  
“Look at Miss studying law talking about fairness.”  
“Look at Mr. Horseface spitting the obvious that no one asked for.”

I look back to see Kirstein grabbing Eren by the collar, while the brat keeps making fun of him by sorting his tongue out. Those two are going to be a fucking headache.

“Oi, if you can’t work in a group, then leave the fuck out.”  
No one dares to say anything before an unsure voice interrupts the satisfactory silence.

“Um, I do study computer science, but to be honest, I’m not that good at it. So, yeah, in the field or not I probably won’t be the most useful.”  
Before I could tell him to go home if not motivated, Eren spoke up.  
“Hey, don’t listen to him, Conny! You’ve always been quick to react, and you’ve got good reflexes! Back there, you were always doing the embarrassing shit we didn’t want to do, you know... You helped us a good number of times.”  
Silence again. This time, broken by Erwin.  
“This is what training is for. Picture this one as more of a trial. If at the end of it, you still don’t find your place with us here, then you’re allowed to go back.”

I snort at Erwin’s words. That man always knew what to say to make you feel like staying is the best option, almost making you forget how dangerous the place you’re in, is.  
By the time we got to our main training room, everyone turned quiet. I give them the time to look around a little; from the sports facilities set along one wall, to the huge agility circuit running along another. The aim is to cross it as quickly as possible, and without falling, under threat of drowning in icy water.

Last time they tried to send us recruits, they had already been trained in a military camp. They're supposed to have already gone on many runs to test their stamina, as well as muscular exercises to build their core.

But those kids haven’t.

If they don't have enough stamina and physical strength, they better have good survival instincts. Which is mostly what we're looking for here. Qualities that military instructors don't bother looking for. The ones that keep you alive on the job we’re doing. Camps trains you how to behave in front of the opponents, when you’re feet away and heavily armed. There’s no training on how to fit in with the enemy, to destroy them from the inside. To notice the smallest details not to die, with your mind as the most efficient weapon. It’s not a gun that will save you, and that was something hard to hear for guys who’s been trained to shoot before thinking.  
That's why our members have remained the same, for years now. None of the guys they sent us had what it takes.

The only ones who occasionally do change are the technicians, but their positions are quite different from ours. They’re not directly in contact of danger. Those who stay do so out of confidentiality requirements. I'm still wondering how we ever managed to maintain secrecy as a squad, but knowing Erwin, he must have paid for the recruits' silence well enough that the idea of betraying us didn't even occur to them.  
Their fear of me may have helped, too.

“Hello cute things, ready for the test? Do well or we’ll have to get rid of you, Haha!”  
Mixed emotions are to be found on everyone’s faces. The bald one is clearly considering the possibility of her words, the unbothered stays unbothered, and the loud one keeps asking for food rewards. The brat keeps his eyes stuck on the parkour, flames of excitement and dauntlessness in his eyes. The same that struck me when I first laid eyes on him, in this filthy room struck by a dim light.

I wonder how this will play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting. University basically killed me. Hope you still liked it :) and well, let's keep meeting here on Pluto ;)


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